


Don't Let Go

by bittersweetlou



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alzheimer's Disease, Alzheimers, F/M, Insecure Louis, Larry Stylinson Is Real, M/M, Protective Harry, Sad, Sad Harry, Sad Louis, Sick Louis, alzheimers louis, larry - Freeform, larry au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-20 08:41:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 26
Words: 32,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20672492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bittersweetlou/pseuds/bittersweetlou
Summary: The one where Louis has Adolescent Alzheimer's and Harry doesn't want to let go.





	1. One

NEW YEARS EVE 2017-18  
"Five.... four.... three.... two.... one..." Harry whispered, careful not to wake his sleeping lover, he needed his sleep. "Happy New Year Louis." He kissed his head, grateful that he'd gotten to spend another year with him.  
On New Years Eve, most 26 year olds are out drinking, partying, and having a great time. After all, your twenties are the prime of your life right? Well, not for Louis and Harry Tomlinson. Nearly ten years ago, Louis at the young age of 16 had been diagnosed with a very rare case of Adolescent Alzheimer's, and now, at 26 he was declining. Harry wasn't sure his husband would make it to 27.  
Harry held Louis close to his chest, listening to the sounds of shouting and fireworks from outside, and hoping they didn't wake him. Of course, as always it seemed, his hopes were in vain, and Louis' confused blue eyes fluttered open slowly. He grunted, expressing his discomfort and pulled his hands up over his ears, scared. The noises outside were frightening, and he had no idea what was going on.  
"Hey Louis." Harry said softly, grabbing Louis' hands and pulling them away from his ears. "It's alright. It's a celebration. New Years." He explained slowly, hoping Louis would understand at least a little, it seemed that lately understanding was harder for him.  
"N-n-nnnnew." Louis repeated slowly, trying hard to understand.  
"Yeah, new." Harry smiled, "A new year."  
Louis just stared at him blankly, as Harry held his hands. Another round of fireworks was heard, making Louis' body jolt a bit, as it startled and scared him.  
"It's fireworks baby. Just fireworks." Harry reassured, although he knew that there was only about a fifty percent chance that Louis understood. "I have an idea." He rubbed his thumbs over Louis' knuckles. "How about we sing?" He knew that familiar songs, and singing calmed Louis, as well as helped his cognitive skills.  
Louis smiled a little, liking the sound of Harry's voice when he spoke.  
Giving Louis' hands a gentle squeeze, Harry started to sing, the song he always sung to him when he was lost or confused. It was a song Louis' mum had sung to him as a child, and was very familiar and calming for him.  
'You are my sunshine.  
My only sunshine.  
You make me happy  
When skies are gray.  
You'll never know dear,  
How much I love you.  
Please don't take my sunshine away.'  
Louis tried to sing along as Harry sang, singing a quiet 'suh-shi' again and again, the only word from the song he could still manage. Harry remembered a time when Louis could sing all the words. He missed that.  
When Louis' eyes started to droop, Harry slowly stopped singing, and allowed Louis to drift back to sleep again.  
Harry closed his own eyes, trying to fall asleep. Sometime between worrying fall into a much needed sleep. Not sure if he was ready for the year that lay ahead.


	2. Chapter 2

New Years Eve 2007-2008  
"You're so cheeky." Louis laughed as Harry drunkenly tried to grab his ass.  
"Your ass is cheeky." Harry responded giggling.  
"You and your awful puns..." Louis groaned tilting his head back.  
"They're not awful." Harry slurred.  
"Whatever you say curly." Louis said, pulling Harry close to him, as the people around them started counting down to the new year.  
"10..." Louis grinned with a sparkle in his blue eyes.  
"9..." Harry intertwined his fingers with Louis'.  
"8..." They pressed their foreheads together.  
"7..." Louis let out a tipsy giggle.  
"6..." Harry did the same.  
"5..." Louis bit his lip, his eyes locked on Harry's lips.  
"4..." Harry put his hand on Louis' cheek.  
"3..." Louis put his hand on top of Harry's.  
"2..." Louis pulls a face, making Harry laugh.  
"1... kiss me you fool!" Louis squeals kissing Harry's lips as he practically pins him to the couch, tickling him.  
And in that moment, things couldn't get any better. They were young -15 and barely 16- and in love. Life was perfect.  
"Harry? Are you awake?" Louis whispered, hours later, as they together in Harry's bed.  
"Mmm yeah." Harry mumbled tiredly.  
Louis rolled over to face Harry, looking him in the eyes. "Is this what it feels like to be in love?" He asked quietly.  
"I'm not sure..." Harry said, having never really thought about it. "My mum always said that being in love means putting someone else's needs above your own, wanting to be with them all the time, and knowing them better than you know yourself."  
"Hm." Louis stayed silent for a few moments before speaking up again. "Harry?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I think I'm in love with you." He told him softly.  
"I think I'm in love with you too." Harry replied.  
Louis smiled, "Goodnight Haz."  
"Night Lou."

January 3rd 2008  
"Louis!" His mum shook his shoulder, "It's time to get up! You're going to be late for school."  
Louis groaned, "I don't care." He mumbled burying his head back into his pillow. It was the first day back after the Holiday break, and he really didn't want to go.   
"Well I do. And it's time for you to get out of bed." She told him sternly, pulling the blankets from his body.  
"Fine." He muttered, sitting up and rubbing his eyes, it wasn't like he had much of a choice anyway.

"Bye mum." Louis said taking one last bite of his cereal and standing up. He kissed Jay's cheek and headed for the door.  
"Wait, Lou! Your bookbag, and your coat!" She called out after him as he had walked right past them.  
"Oh, yeah." Louis laughed a bit, as he put on his coat and slung his backpack over his shoulder.  
Jay shook her head with a smile. "I swear, one day you're going to forget your pants." She told the boy, who had always been very forgetful. Especially lately. Of course that was no big deal. Just part of his personality...right?

Louis walked down the sidewalk with every intention of going to school, despite not wanting to. I mean, what teenager actually wants to go to school? After about thirty minutes of walking, Louis however, didn't end up at school, but found himself at the supermarket. Why was he at the supermarket? Is that where he had meant to go? Where was it he was headed? He couldn't remember. Shrugging his shoulders, figuring if he was at the market that's where he was supposed to be, he wandered inside. He walked up and down the aisles, looking through the different foods, trying to remember what he'd come for. Not looking where he was going, Louis walked straight into someone.  
"Oh I'm so sorry, I wasn't watching-" He looked up to see Harry's mum, Anne.  
"Louis? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at school?" She asked.  
School. That's where he was going! How could he forget? "Oh uh, yeah, I just, I got pretty cold outside walking, so I came in to warm up a bit." He lied, because who forgets they were on their way to school?  
Anne looked at him strangely, before smiling. "Well, would you like a ride to school?"  
"Yes, please. If you don't mind." Louis said fiddling with his thumbs.  
"Oh of course I don't mind! I just need to grab one more thing and we can go." She said sweetly.

"I hope you've all had a good Holiday break." Louis' English teacher, Mr. Sheeran spoke. "I also hope you've all done the assigned reading, because I've prepared a 20 question quiz on it."  
Shit. There had been homework? Louis could've sworn there hadn't been any homework. "Please let this be multiple choice." He mumbled under his breath as Mr. Sheeran passed out the quiz. The moment the quiz landed on his desk, Louis knew he was screwed. Out of all twenty questions, not one was multiple choice.  
"Times up." Mr. Sheeran announced a half hour later as he came around the classroom to collect the quizzes. Louis looked down at his quiz dejectedly. Aside from his name, and the date in the top right corner, the sheet was completely blank. When Louis handed his quiz back, Mr. Sheeran frowned. "I'll need to talk to you after class." He whispered.  
At the end of class, Louis slowly trudged up to his teacher's desk. The red-haired man looking at him with disappointment in his eyes, which were framed by a pair of black-rimmed glasses.  
"You didn't do the reading again, did you?" He said, although it came out as more of a statement than a question.  
Louis sighed and shook his head, "I forgot... I'm so sorry. Please, don't fail me. I promise I'll do better." He begged.  
Mr. Sheeran sighed, "Louis you've promised me that time and time again, but I've seen no improvement. This is the fifth assignment this semester that you haven't done."  
"I'm trying so hard to remember. I promise I am!" Louis explained desperately.  
"How do I know you're not just lying to me? Using 'I Forgot' isn't an acceptable excuse you know." The teacher explained.  
"I know... but Mr. Sheeran I'm trying so hard! You know I am!" Louis pleaded with tears welling up in his blue eyes. His grades had been dropping significantly the last year, and it was stressing the poor boy out, as he wanted to get into Uni and become a drama teacher.  
"I'll give you one last chance. But Louis, if you don't do this week's reading, I'll have no choice but to fail you this semester." Mr. Sheeran said, "Understood?"  
"Yes, yes! Thank you so much!" Louis almost hugged him he was so grateful.  
"Yeah, yeah no problem. Just don't forget this time." The man warned.  
Louis nodded enthusiastically. "I won't! I promise." That very moment, he wrote on his hand with a sharpie, 'Homework', figuring that would be a good reminder.

"Why do you have the word 'Homework' on your hand Lou?" Harry asked that evening as they snuggled together watching Grease and drinking cocoa.  
"Oh, huh." Louis looked down at his hand, forgetting he'd written on it. "I dunno."  
"You don't know?" Harry asked, confused. "How would you not know?"  
"Guess I forgot." Louis shrugged.  
"You need a new memory." Harry joked.  
Louis giggled a bit. "Or just an adequate night's sleep."

January 10th 2008  
"Well? Did you do last week's reading?" Mr. Sheeran asked as Louis walked into class.  
"Oh... uh... n-no... I forgot." Louis stammered.  
"Louis, I hate to do this, but I have no choice but to give you a failing grade this semester. I'm so sorry, but I can't keep giving you special treatment just because you 'forget' to do your work." The man looked, apologetic, and his face was full of sympathy.  
"I understand." Louis said quietly, swallowing the lump that was rising in his throat, and he started to think. Maybe there was something wrong with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well there's the official first chapter! I hope you enjoyed. I've decided to tell the story in bits from the past as well as the present. I always love feedback, so feel free to comment! And of course, if you liked it, please leave kudos:) Have a fabulous day lovelies!  
-Sunnie


	3. Chapter 3

February 1 2008   
"How'd your classes go today?" Harry asked as he and Louis walked hand in hand, on their way home from school together.   
"They went fine.... I guess." Louis sighed. "I just.... I dunno what's up with me. I can't focus!" He was so frustrated. Why couldn't he do his schoolwork? He was failing all his classes and he couldn't figure out why.   
Harry looked at him concern evident in his forest green eyes. "Are you still failing?"  
Louis nodded, embarrassed. He'd always been the top of the class, but now he was failing. It's not like he wasn't trying, because he was trying. So hard!   
"Have you been sleeping better?" Harry asked, knowing Louis had always had a habit of staying up late into the night.   
"Yeah, I've been making sure I get 8, sometimes even 10 hours a night!" Louis exclaimed sighing heavily and running his free hand down his face.   
Harry gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. "I'm sure you'll get back to normal soon. You maybe just need to catch up on all that sleep you've missed in the past."   
"Yeah, I guess." Louis muttered, before perking up. It was Harry's birthday. They shouldn't be focusing on him, they needed to focus on Harry. Louis shook his head. "Let's not talk about that right now yeah? It's supposed to a happy day." He grinned, kissing Harry's cheek. "We have a party to get ready for."   
Harry giggled, "I suppose we do." Although, it wasn't really much of a party, just a few of Harry's closest friends who were getting together to spend the night, and play video games. "There's not much to get ready for though."   
Louis stopped walking, and gasped, his mouth hung open in faux shock. "Oh, how wrong you are, you ignorant peasant! We have video games to pick, food to get out-"  
"Yeah, yeah, come on you." Harry cut Louis off, tugging his arm to make him start walking again.  
Louis grinned cheekily, and shook his head. "Nah, I'd rather you carry me."  
"And why should I do that?" Harry inquired, a subtle grin tugging on his lips.  
"Because you love meeeee" Louis said, rocking on his heels, "and it's cold, and my feet hurt and-" Louis was cut off again, by Harry scooping his tiny body up into his arms.  
"Really though, it is cold." Louis said as Harry carried him along. "I swear, this weather is going to be the death of me."  
"It better not be." Harry chuckled, "Because I don't think I could live without you."  
"You sap." Louis rolled his eyes, and kissed Harry's cold cheek.  
Harry carefully set Louis down on his feet when they reached the doorstep, opening the door for him. "After you." He said with a laugh.  
"Why thank you good sir." Louis replied teasingly as they stepped inside, Harry closing the door behind them.  
"Mum! I'm home!" Harry called out, as he and Louis took off their coats and scarves, their cheeks and ears turning red as the blood inside them warmed up.  
"I'm in the kitchen!" Anne responded.  
The young couple headed toward the kitchen to greet her. "Hi mum" Harry smiled, coming up behind her and wrapping his long arms around her.  
She laughed a bit, turning around in his arms and kissing his forehead. "Hello birthday boy." She smiled and turned to Louis. "Hi Louis."  
"Hey Anne. Thanks for letting me spend the night." He responded, opening the fridge and grabbing himself an apple and making himself at home -after all, Harry's house was his home away from home.  
"It's no problem dear. What time are the others arriving?" She asked, wanting to know when she should order the pizza.  
"The others?" Louis asked, confused.  
Harry furrowed his eyebrows, he and Anne sharing a look. "Yeah, Niall, Liam, and Zayn..... remember?"  
Louis blinked a few times, "oh yeah of course. Sorry." He mumbled, "it's uh, it's been a long week."  
"No need to apologize dear." Anne said smiling sweetly.  
"Oh and they're coming at 6." Harry added, answering her question.  
6? Louis could've sworn it was 7....  
"Alright, thanks." Anne replied going back to cleaning the kitchen.  
"Lou is pretty tired, so we're gonna go take a nap before they come. We'll be in my room if you need us." Harry informed, getting a nod from her. Louis looked at him strangely as Harry took his hand guiding him off to his room.

"A nap? Haz, I'm fine. We don't need to take a nap." Louis said softly, feeling bad.  
"You've been trying to catch up on sleep lately though babe, and tonight's gonna be a long one. I really think it's a good idea. Plus, you can give me some birthday cuddles." Harry grinned.  
"Okay, okay. A nap does sound pretty nice right now." Louis consented as he climbed into bed with his boyfriend, cuddling up close to him.  
"Yeah? I think so too." Harry said kissing the top of Louis' feathery hair.  
Louis smiled up at him, letting his cerulean eyes flutter closed, as he drifted off to sleep.

"Dammit Liam! Why do you always have to wiiiinnn?" Niall whined, as the five boys were sprawled across Harry's living room playing some Xbox game Harry had just gotten for his birthday.  
"Because I'm better at it than you." Liam said with a shrug, earning a slap on the arm from Niall.  
Niall stuck his middle finger in the air, before yawning. "I dunno about you guys, but I think it's time we call it a night."  
"I second that." Zayn nodded tiredly, the others nodding in agreement.  
"Alright, everyone claim a spot." Harry said as he shut off the game system.  
"Wait, Hazza! You didn't open your presents." Louis said, wanting Harry to be able to enjoy all the traditional aspects of a birthday.  
"Yes I did Lou. I got that Xbox game, some gift cards, and the gorgeous ring you got me." He said softly, making eye contact with Louis, seeing a look of confusion in the boy's eyes.  
"Oh, I guess you did." He said quietly, scratching his head and feeling incredibly stupid. "You know I'm not feeling so good, I think I'm gonna head home."  
Harry immediately frowned. "Are you alright?" He asked, taking Louis' hands in his.  
"M'fine... just got a bit of a headache." He lied. "Just wanna go home and sleep it off. I'm sorry Haz." Louis said kissing his lips.  
"It's okay babe. Just get some rest and feel better yeah?" Harry said sweetly.  
"Yeah." Louis replied, shuffling toward the door his mind racing with worries.  
"Wait, don't you need to call your mum to pick you up or something?" Harry asked, "It's late."  
"She's working the nightshift." Louis sighed, his mum was a nurse, and her hours were scattered.   
"Well, let me wake my mum. I'm sure she'd drive you." Harry said,  
"No, don't do that. I live like two blocks down. I'll be fine." Louis promised.  
"She really won't mind." Harry said with a slight pleading tone to his voice.  
"Harry." Louis put his hands on his shoulders. "I'll be fine."  
Harry sighed, it was only two blocks. It was a safe neighborhood. Nothing could happen, right? "Okay Lou, but promise you'll text me to let me know you get home safe."  
Louis nodded, "Course I will." He said grabbing his coat, putting it over his arms, and zipping it up, as his friends, and lover stood watching.  
"I'll see you guys on Monday." He said with a small smile, wrapping his scarf around his neck.  
"See you Lou." Zayn said.  
"Feel better." Was Niall's sweet reply.  
"Be safe." Liam told him.  
"Love you." Were the words that came from Louis' favorite deep, raspy voice.  
Louis smiled at them all, nodding. "Happy birthday babe." He said, blowing Harry a kiss, before quietly closing the door behind him and stepping out into the chilled, February night. It was late, and the only light that shown was the yellowed, dying street lamp at the end of the sidewalk. Slowly Louis began to walk through the dimly lit darkness, his mind wandering and returning repeatedly. It was like a game of hide and seek, but inside his head.

"Do you think he's okay?" Harry asked twenty minutes later when he hadn't heard from Louis.  
"I'm sure he's fine. He seemed exhausted, he probably fell asleep straight away when he got home." Liam said assuredly, "Before he had the chance to text you."  
"Or maybe he forgot to text you." Niall added. "He's seemed pretty spacey lately."  
Harry sighed, not knowing whether to worry.  
"I'm sure he's fine." Zayn assured putting a hand on Harry's shoulder. "There's been plenty of times he's left my house and never texted me to say he got home safe."  
"Yeah. It's sometimes just something people say." Niall added. "He's fine."  
Harry nodded quietly, "You're probably right."  
"We always are." Liam chuckled, and Harry shook his head switching off the light, as everyone got comfortable.  
Louis was young. He was smart. They were in a nice part of town. He had to be fine. Right?

It was hours later, as Jay was in the break room, sipping at some coffee to keep herself awake, when she felt her phone vibrating in her pocket.  
"Hello?" She answered with a yawn.  
"Hello, is this Johanna Tomlinson?" A male voice spoke.  
"Yes, it is. May I ask who's calling?" She asked, as the voice and phone number were unfamiliar to her.  
"This is Sheriff Callister. We have your son, Louis." He said, his voice monotone.  
"What?! Did he do something wrong? Is he okay?" She asked frantically.  
"He's perfectly fine and has done no harm." He assured her.  
"Well, then what's the problem?" She responded, setting her coffee on the table.  
"We found him in a neighborhood that based on our records, was nowhere near your home. We asked him what he was doing wandering the streets at this hour, and he said he was lost." The sheriff explained.  
"Oh.... I'll be right there." She responded, ending the call. Wasn't Louis supposed to be spending the night at Harry's?


	4. Chapter 4

January 15th 2018  
Louis had a very particular routine, and Harry made sure they followed it. The doctor said, having a routine would help Louis immensely if he somewhat knew what to expect. So, of course, Harry kept his routine as stable as he possibly could. Only that afternoon, his routine was going to be thrown off a bit, as they were meeting up with Niall, and Harry was hoping Louis handled it well.  
At exactly nine a.m., Harry stroked Louis' cheek, and lightly shook his shoulder, as he did every morning. "Loubear, time to wake up." He said gently, allowing Louis time to properly wake up. His sweet husband's eyes finally peeled open, and Harry smiled at him. "Hi babe." He greeted.  
Louis offered a small wave in response, before yawning and trying to go back to sleep.  
"No, no boo. It's time to get up." Harry told him, helping him to sit up. "We're going out today."  
Louis just sat there, not comprehending much of what Harry had said, as he looked around trying to understand his surroundings, something he did often now. Harry kissed his cheek sweetly, "Let's get out of bed." He said slowly. He'd been told it was important to tell Louis what they were going to be doing, even if it didn't seem like he understood. It would confuse him more if he wasn't told what was happening.  
Once on their feet, Harry grabbed his hand, intertwining their fingers. Louis loved to hold hands.  
Harry guided Louis as he slowly shuffled along, leading him to the bathroom. Harry couldn't bear to admit it, but he knew Louis was gradually forgetting how to walk. "Time to use the toilet Lou." He explained to his once boisterous, now quiet lover.  
Louis looked up at him, then at the toilet, seeming to understand. His slow hands fumbled with his elastic waisted pajama pants, trying to get them off. Harry gently took Louis' hands and helped him to get the pants down, he wanted to give him as much independence as he could, but that was getting harder to do each day. He then helped Louis make sure he was aimed and positioned correctly, and then turned around giving him a bit of privacy, as the Louis who he once knew, who was now trapped behind an awful disease, would've wanted dignity.  
When Louis finished up, Harry helped him to fully undress, before filling the tub to bathe him. Recently, he'd switched from showers to baths, the noise and force of the shower scared Louis, and he constantly tried to escape. Bathing had become something Harry had to do for him, Louis not really being able to do it well enough for himself anymore, even with help.  
After Louis' bath Harry helped him to brush his teeth, shave, and comb his hair. Surprisingly, Louis loved the hair dryer. Having his hair blow dried relaxed him, which, Harry found strange, as most loud things he hated.  
"We're going out today." Harry repeated as he helped Louis into a pair of soft sweatpants and a simple tee-shirt. Sweatpants were all Louis ever wanted to wear anymore. Jeans were uncomfortable, as well as a challenge to get on and off, and Louis would have a fit any time Harry tried to get him to wear them. Sassiness was definitely still part of his personality. Harry didn't think that would ever change.  
"So handsome." Harry said once Louis was dressed, kissing his forehead. "Time to feed bobo."  
"......bo....bo." Louis said quietly, with a small smile. He knew what that meant.  
"Yeah, that's right." Harry praised him, taking his hand and leading him to the kitchen where Bobo was sat next to an empty food and water dish. Bobo, was a stuffed animal toy, a soft brown puppy.  
A few years back, three to be exact, Louis' doctor had told Harry to give Louis tasks, things that would make him feel useful, as often those with Alzheimer's start to feel like they aren't doing enough, or that they are a burden to their caregiver. He suggested maybe getting a small, easy maintenance pet for Louis to take care of. Such as a fish or a hermit crab. Having decided that was a great idea, that very day, Harry had gone out and gotten a goldfish for Louis. They had named her Goldie, and Louis would just sit and watch her swim for hours. He always got excited when it was time to feed her, he loved feeling like he was doing something important. He also helped when Harry would clean out the bowl. Goldie was the perfect pet, that is until Louis started trying to drink the water from her fish bowl. No matter how hard Harry tried to explain to the confused boy that he couldn't do that, he didn't understand.  
After only six months with Goldie, they had to give her up. Harry was worried that Louis would be sad about losing her, as it would change his daily routine, but he wasn't. He simply forgot that Goldie ever existed.  
Goldie was soon replaced with Bobo. Louis couldn't take care of a real dog, but at this stage, the doctor told Harry that honestly, Louis wouldn't be able to tell the difference.  
Louis had a huge smile as Harry helped him to pour some dog food into Bobo's food dish, and water into the adjoined bowl. He then sweetly stroked Bobo's soft 'fur' and kissed the toy's head, before leaving it to 'eat', Harry guiding him to the kitchen counter, and preparing his usual breakfast of cheerios, a banana, and orange juice to drink. While Louis was busy eating his banana, Harry dumped Bobo's food back into the bag, and the water into the sink, so Louis wouldn't try to eat or drink them. He then settled himself next to Louis, drinking a protein shake for his own breakfast.  
When Louis finished his banana, Harry helped him to wipe his sticky face, and kept his hands steady as he drank some juice. One of the hard parts of Alzheimer's was it robbed him of his depth perception, making it hard to aim his hands or to recognize the proximity of an item.  
"Time for your cheerios." Harry said sweetly. Louis loved cheerios, the honey nut kind being his favorite. Harry placed his larger hand atop Louis' small one, helping him to hold the spoon, his fine motor skills were long gone, but Harry didn't want him to feel as though he couldn't feed himself. Carefully, he guided the spoon into the bowl, scooping up some cereal and bringing it to Louis' mouth. Louis opened up eagerly, and took the bite, chewing, swallowing, and opening up for the next one. And so it went, until the very last bit of cereal was gone. Harry used a warm, wet washcloth to clean the milk from Louis' chin, knowing if Louis truly understood what was going on, he'd feel humiliated. He shook his head, trying not to think about the 'ifs'. The word 'if' only led to wishful thinking.  
The rest of the morning went as usual, with Louis caring for bobo, singing together, and Harry telling him stories of when they were younger, unsure if he understood. 

"Time to go in the car." Harry told Louis later that afternoon, as he helped Louis into some shoes.   
Louis looked up, understanding the word car.  
".....leave..?" He asked, trying to grasp the idea.  
"Yeah, we're leaving. We're going to lunch with Niall today." Harry explained, keeping Louis' hand in his.  
Louis didn't respond, just looking around as Harry guided him to their car.  
The whole drive to the restaurant, Louis was mumbling incoherent gibberish, and every now and then, Harry would reply with a "yeah" or a nod, making Louis feel as though what he was saying was important. And to Harry, it was. He just couldn't understand it. 

They went to Ihop for lunch, as it was a place Louis always loved. Louis had told the waitress what he wanted on his own, pancakes, and it made Harry so proud. Louis wasn't able to do that often.  
When the food arrived, Harry poured some syrup in a cup for Louis to dip his pancakes in so he could eat it with his hands, instead of a fork, which would require help.  
Niall and Harry ate as they talked about their families, Niall's new boyfriend Shawn, and just about everything else, excluding Louis' condition. That wasn't something they talked about with Louis around, as it tended to upset him.  
By the time they finished eating, Louis' face was covered in syrup and pancake crumbs, he belched loudly as the waitress approached them with a disgusted look. She left the payment information on the table before turning to leave, as Louis burped again. She was appalled at his manners, having no idea what he was truly going through. She spun around on her heel to face him again, "Sir, that is not appropriate in a public restaurant!" She scolded, before walking away, shaking her head.  
Niall shot her a glare as Harry rubbed Louis' back. "A bit full, huh boo?" He cooed, wiping his face with a napkin, before softly kissing his lips. Louis merely stared at him, his eyes empty, something Harry could never get used to. "I miss you." he whispered, and Louis smiled in response, loving Harry's voice.  
"Some waitress huh?" Niall scoffed, making a face to lighten the mood, making Harry chuckle a bit.  
"Yeah, some waitress." Harry rolled his eyes, as he put his payment in the little black folder that had been left on the table, as they stood up.  
"Thanks for meeting up with me. It was nice." Niall said hugging each of his friends.  
"Of course." Harry smiled, as he helped Louis out of the booth "It was fun." 

Louis was fast asleep by the time they arrived home, and Harry smiled at him sadly. The outing had worn him out mentally and physically, which was a sign he was getting worse. Not that Harry didn't already know that. He did. He knew Louis was drifting away from him. He knew one day he'd be gone. He knew that. 

He just didn't accept it.


	5. Chapter 5

February 2nd 2008  
"What do you mean there's nothing wrong with him? Clearly there's something!" Johanna exclaimed at the doctor in exasperation.  
"He's likely sleep deprived Mrs. Tomlinson." The doctor sighed, "We've looked him over, and did a couple of neurological exercises with him, and he's perfectly normal. Are you sure he wasn't under the influence of any drugs or alcohol last night?"  
"No, for the last time, I told you he wasn't! The police tested him!" Jay exclaimed. "Call them if you don't believe me!"  
Louis just sat there quietly as his mum argued with the doctor, feeling pretty pathetic for getting lost on his way home from somewhere he knew so well.  
"Well he must've been sleep deprived then. That's the only conclusion I can make." The doctor said arrogantly.  
Jay pressed her fingers to her temples, with a heavy sigh. "I hope you're right."  
"I am." The doctor assured. "Make sure he gets enough sleep every night and he should go back to being just fine."  
Johanna rolled her eyes, but nodded nonetheless, wrapping her arm around her small son and leading him out of the doctor's office.  
"M'sorry mum." Louis mumbled, looking down at his feet ashamed.  
"It's not your fault sweetie." She kissed the top of her son's head. "I just hope the doctor's right."  
"I'm sure he is." Louis said, not only trying to convince his mum, but trying to convince himself.

April 12th 2008  
It had been a little over three months since the 'incident' and Louis had been getting plenty of sleep each night. Strangely though, his symptoms weren't improving. Not in the slightest. In fact, it seemed they were worsening. Since that night, Jay wouldn't allow Louis to walk anywhere alone. The thought of him getting lost again terrified her, though Louis assured her he wouldn't, she didn't want to risk it.  
Louis' grades continued slipping. He kept explaining that he was trying so hard, and that no matter what he did he couldn't remember to do it. His mum believed him. His teachers, didn't.  
"What day is it today mum?" Louis asked as he ate his breakfast of honey nut cheerios. His favorite.  
"It's Monday. I've told you this three times Lou. Are you feeling alright?" She asked, always worried for her son.  
"Yeah, fine mum." Louis sighed, getting frustrated with himself for forgetting again.  
She frowned, "Okay." She said as she heard a knock at the door, "That's probably Harry."  
Louis nodded standing up and kissing his mum's cheek as she handed him his jacket and backpack. "Have a good day Lou."  
"You too mum!" He said smiling brightly, excited to see Harry.  
"Hey baby." Harry greeted as Louis' pulled the door open.  
"Hi daddy." Louis said with a smirk, making Harry's cheeks flush red.  
"What?" He stuttered awkwardly, "Why'd you call me that?"  
"Well if I'm baby, then you must be daddy." Louis said raising an eyebrow, making Harry blush deeper.  
"You cheeky little thing." He said, pulling his tiny lover into his long arms.  
"I'm not little!" Louis protested with a huff.  
"Oh but you are darling." Harry chuckled.  
And well, Louis couldn't argue.

"So I was thinking we could go out tonight? It's been a while since we've had a proper date." Harry suggested as Louis opened up his locker taking out his books. It seemed like a miracle that he hadn't forgotten his locker combination yet.  
"Sounds great." Louis smiled, "What were you thinking?"  
"Nothing too unique, just dinner and a movie?" Harry suggested. "Shutter recently came out and I was really wanting to see it."  
"Isn't that the scary one?" Louis inquired raising an eyebrow.  
"Maybeee....." Harry responded his avoiding eye contact.  
"Hazzzzz you know how I feel about scary movies." Louis whined.  
"Yes, but I'd be there to protect you." Harry bargained.  
Louis sighed, "Isn't there anything else you want to see?" He asked hopefully.  
"Hmmmm" Harry pretended to think for a bit. "No."  
Louis rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, okay. I'll go."  
"I'll pick you up at 6?" Harry grinned.  
Louis nodded, as they each turned to head to their classes. "You're lucky I love you!" He called over his shoulder, because honestly, there was no way he'd go see that movie if he weren't totally whipped for Harry.  
The small boy wandered through the halls, suddenly forgetting what class he was supposed to be going to. Was it math? No Spanish. Wait, or was it History? "Shit." Louis muttered sinking down onto the floor leaning against the row of blue lockers. Why couldn't he just remember? Sighing, he buried his head in his hands, trying hard to think of where it was he was supposed to be.  
"Louis?" The chestnut haired boy heard his name, and looked up to see Liam's concerned face looking back at him. "What're you doing out here?"  
"Forgot my first class..." Louis mumbled, nibbling at his fingernail.  
"Again?" Liam frowned, his forehead creased.  
"No, not again. I'm lying." Louis replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes before speaking once more, "Yes, again."  
"Well we put your schedule in your bag remember? So you wouldn't forget?" Liam said, sitting down beside him and trying to help.  
"Well, Liam, don't you think if I remembered I would've gotten it out by now?" Louis snarked.  
"Oh uh yeah," Liam scratched his head awkwardly. "I suppose you would've."   
Louis sighed and dug through his backpack finding his schedule. "English." He read aloud, he'd been way off with his guesses.  
"Why don't I walk with you there?" Liam suggested as he and Louis got up off the floor.  
"I'm fine. I don't need a bloody escort." Louis retorted.  
"Well, uh... my class is that way anyway so you're stuck with me." Liam lied lamely.  
Louis though, didn't catch his lie, forgetting that Liam's homeroom was on the other end of the school. "Fine." He grumbled as he and Liam walked along.  
It was after Louis walked into his English classroom that Liam realized that Louis' forgetfulness might be more than just being a bit spacey. And it scared him.

"I'll be here at 6 to pick you up babe." Harry said kissing Louis' forehead sweetly, "Don't forget."  
"Uh... pick me up for what Hazza?" Louis furrowed his eyebrows.  
"Our date. I asked you this morning remember?" Harry prodded gently.  
"Oh..." It took Louis a moment but he eventually remembered, "Yeah, yeah of course. I'll be ready."  
Harry bit his lip nervously, Louis was scaring him. "Okay boo, I'll see you then."  
"Okay, bye Haz." Louis responded softly heading inside. He definitely needed a nap. Before going to sleep however, he set his alarm for 5:30 so he could get ready.

When 5:30 rolled around, and Louis' alarm went off, he looked at it confused. He didn't have anything going on. Why the hell was his alarm going off? Shaking his head, he shut it off and rolled over going back to sleep, not ready to be awake again.  
At exactly 6 pm, Harry was knocking on the front door.  
"Harry!" Jay opened the door. "Come in! Louis didn't tell me you were coming over. He's upstairs taking a nap, you're welcome to go on up." She smiled at the curly-headed lad.  
"He... he's asleep?" Harry frowned, tugging at his shirt.  
"Yeah, why? Is something wrong?" Jay asked.  
"Well, we umm... we had a date planned for tonight. I told him to be ready by six." He said, causing Jay to immediately start heading toward Louis' room.  
"I'm done with this 'sleep deprived' bullshit." She muttered as Harry awkwardly followed her, "Sorry Harry but your date is going to have to wait. I'm taking my Lou to the hospital."  
Harry's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "He's that bad?"  
"He asked me the day three times this morning, I asked him to grab my phone charger yesterday and he went upstairs and never came back down -I found him playing video games, he hasn't remembered any of his homework in ages... this isn't sleep deprivation." She explained as she opened Louis' bedroom door.  
"Louis, wake up love." She said softly, shaking his shoulder. "We need to go."  
He rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Hmmm? Where we goin?" He mumbled sleepily.  
"To the hospital." Jay told him flatly.  
"But... I'm not... I'm not sick?" Louis asked, sitting up, confused as Harry grabbed his shoes from his closet.  
"You might be Lou. You might be." Jay said sadly.

After a mylogram, CT scan, and an MRI, Louis was exhausted and ready to be done. "Can't we go home now mum?" He begged, "I'm done with all this testing."  
She shook her head, "We're not leaving this hospital until we have answers."  
"Harry probably wants to go home too though." He whined, looking at his gorgeous green-eyed boyfriend who sat beside him holding his hand.  
" 'Fraid not Lou." Harry said, "I'm with your mum on this one."  
Louis groaned audibly and leaned back against the uncomfortable ER bed. "I hate this." He muttered. "I'm just fine."  
"Actually, you might not be." A nurse said with a hint of sadness in her voice as she stepped into the room. "Doctor Corden has some suspicions based on your scans, and believes a spinal tap will determine whether he's correct."  
"A sp-spinal tap?" Louis gulped, his face paling. He'd seen one once on some medical show and it didn't look like a pleasant experience in the slightest.  
"Yes, now if you'll lay on your side for me, and keep your knees to your chest." She instructed, Louis was shaking as he followed her instructions, squeezing Harry's hand so tightly Harry thought it might break.  
The nurse snapped on her gloves, and cleaned a spot at the bottom of his spine with an alcohol pad. "Okay you're going to feel a little pinch for a moment." She told him as she pressed the long needle into his back.  
Little my ass Louis thought, as a sharp fiery pain shot through his entire spine, the pain reaching from his shoulders clear down to his toes. He whimpered quietly, trying to be tough and brave, as tears rolled down his cheeks.  
"You're alright Lou. It's gonna be alright." Harry assured the trembling boy, who was pale and sweating with pain.  
In that moment, Louis didn't think he was going to be alright. This pain, was excruciating.  
Once the nurse extracted enough cerebral spinal fluid for testing, she withdrew the long needle. "See, that wasn't so bad was it?" She smiled at him.  
"Actually it was hell." Louis muttered, glaring at her. "So thanks."  
"Louis!" His mum scolded, "I'm so sorry." She apologized to the nurse who accepted the apology with a smile.  
"No worries." She replied, almost too cheerfully, making Louis really want to punch her in the face right then. "We would like to keep him for observation tonight, and we should have results in the morning." She spoke to Jay as if Louis wasn't even there.  
"I'm right here you know." He said grumpily, still curled up with his knees to his chest, not wanting to move. His back was throbbing, and for whatever reason his head was now too. He vaguely remembered the nurse saying something about extracting spinal fluid causing headaches, but he was in too much pain to try and recall that.  
"Sorry, I meant to address you both." She replied.  
"What about Harry?" Louis sassed.  
The nurse let out an aggravated breath. "Alright, I meant to address everyone in this room."  
Louis nodded, satisfied with her answer, and closed his eyes. "You'll stay tonight? Won't you haz?" He asked, knowing his mum had to get back to his siblings, and he really didn't want to be alone.  
"Of course Lou. Now get some sleep." Harry said gently, tucking a blanket over his little boyfriend and kissing his forehead.  
Louis didn't have to be told twice and soon the boy was snoring softly.  
"I think that's my cue to go. You going to be alright here?" Jay asked.  
Harry nodded, "My mum is coming by to bring me some toiletries, I'll be fine. See you in the morning." He said as Jay left.  
"I hope you're okay Louis." Harry whispered to the sleeping boy. "You have to be."

Jay arrived early the next morning, anxious to find out what was wrong with her poor son.  
"Any news?" She asked walking into the room, seeing Louis sitting up in his bed, eating some nasty hospital pancakes for breakfast, Harry beside him.  
"They have the results, but wanted to wait for you." Harry said smiling at her, "I'll call them in." He said, pressing the nurse call button.  
"How are you feeling Louis?" Jay asked coming over to hug her son.  
"My back's pretty sore, and my head hurts a bit, but I'm alright." He said softly, only to be interrupted by a nurse, along with Doctor Corden, walking into the room.  
"We have the results." Doctor Corden announced, "Louis, we've seen large plaques of beta-amyloid on your scans, your brain appears to be inflamed, and in your spinal fluid we've found traces of presenilin 1 and 2."  
"What does that mean?" Louis whispered.  
"I'm sorry but we're diagnosing you with Adolescent Alzheimer's Disease." Doctor Corden replied somberly.


	6. Chapter 6

April 13th 2008  
"Alzheimer's? Isn't that the memory disease?" Harry was the first to speak, Jay and Louis were both stunned to silence.  
Doctor Corden nodded, "It does affect the memory yes. That's one of the main parts of the disease. However there is a common misconception with Alzheimer's disease that you need to understand. Many people believe that Alzheimer's is similar to amnesia, only on a long term scale, but that is not the case. As a form of dementia, Alzheimer's does not only affect memory. It is essentially the decomposition of the brain."  
"So my brain is like.... falling apart?" Louis asked finally breaking out of his brief shock.  
Doctor Corden couldn't sugar coat it. "The cruel reality is yes, it is."  
"So, what does this mean for him? What do we need to know about the disease?" Johanna asked, biting her lip, nervous about what would happen to her son.  
"Well, firstly, Alzheimer's is a fatal disease, there is currently no cure. Usually patients live eight to twelve years after being diagnosed." Doctor Corden explained.  
At his words, immediately Jay, Louis and Harry broke down into tears.  
"Doesn't it usually only happen to older people?" Jay asked through a quiet sob.  
"Typically yes, but nothing is impossible." He sighed, feeling bad for the poor boy as well as his family and friends. "Louis, is one of very extreme few people to contract this disease at such a young age."  
"Well what causes it? Why would he get it so young?" Jay asked, rubbing her son's back soothingly.  
"In cases where the patient is young, it's usually genetic. Also, based on Louis' scans, we can see that he has several large plaques built of an extra protein, beta-amyloid, which is also a main factor of Alzheimer's." Doctor Corden told them somberly.  
"So, what does this mean for him? What should we expect the next few years?" Harry asked, swallowing the lump rising in his throat.  
"Well, there are seven stages of Alzheimer's. The first stage is very slight memory loss and forgetfulness. Things like forgetting to do an assignment every now and then, or losing the car keys, things like that. Louis you have already passed through that stage, as the behavior at that point isn't seen as abnormal. The second stage is when forgetfulness becomes more apparent. This is where you are at now it seems. Forgetting more things, you've probably been forgetting to do your school assignments-" Louis nodded at that and Doctor Corden continued. "You've also likely been forgetting the date and time, where you are headed, and probably some acquaintances names." Louis nodded again, a deep dread filling up inside him as this all became so real and scary.  
"The third stage is next. You will start to forget simple words, and lose your train of thought. It'll be much harder to focus on even one task. You may find yourself easily distracted, and will often start wandering or pacing to keep yourself occupied. Planning and keeping organized will be nearly impossible. You will feel a significant difference in yourself at this stage, and you will need some help to not forget important things, or lose valuable items." Louis gulped, this just kept getting worse.  
"Stage four, there will be struggles with simple arithmetic equations, such as two plus two. You will likely need help with anything involving money. Words will continue to get harder and at this stage your ability to read will be extremely limited. You may also find it a challenge to make decisions, or to match your clothes properly. You will occasionally experience hallucinations. This is the stage where you will start losing small parts of your long-term memory." Louis didn't want to hear anymore. He was already terrified enough, but he knew he had to. And besides, he'd probably forget it anyway.  
"The fifth stage is when your disability will become noticeable to those around you whom you aren't close with, such as people you pass in the supermarket. This is when confusion starts, you will unfortunately feel confused for around 70% of the time during this stage. The hallucinations will happen more frequently in stage five. You will no longer be able to dress yourself appropriately for the weather, and getting dressed itself may become harder. When this stage is reached, I suggested getting pants with an elastic waistband, and avoid zippers, buttons and laces." Jay was subtly making notes on what the doctor was saying, growing terrified about this all. Wasn't it supposed to be the other way around? The parent getting Alzheimer's and their child taking care of them? Not vise versa. "This stage is often referred to as the aggressive stage. Without even realizing you may lash out at strangers or even people you love, for reasons that are only in your mind. This stage is also commonly accompanied with hypersexuality and inappropriate behavior. You will need to be under constant watch, especially in public. You may forget simple things about yourself in this stage such as your phone number, address, or names of those you love, though your caretaker and those who are around you often enough, you will still recognize, even if you can't recall their names." Louis didn't think he could ever forget his family's names. They were too important to him.  
"Stage six is what is often referred to as the major decline." Louis didn't like the sound of that. "This is when you will need help with nearly everything. You will need someone to bathe you, brush your teeth, help you to eat. This is also the stage that most patients lose the ability to control their bodily functions, and become incontinent." Louis blushed a crimson red, and he kind of hoped he would die before that even happened. "This stage is almost constant confusion, and unawareness of your surroundings and most around you, save for your primary caregiver, who you won't understand who they are, but will recognize as part of your life. Wandering also becomes much more severe in this stage." If stage six was this bad, Louis couldn't imagine what stage seven would be.  
"The final stage, is when you will be hospitalized or under extreme hospice care in the home. This will be the last stages of life. You will no longer recognize your caregiver, and your body will essentially forget how to function. You will lose the ability to swallow, to move, and eventually to breathe. And that's when things will, well, end." Doctor Corden said, trying to be sensitive, but having seen so many with this disease, he'd found there was no use in sugar-coating it. It was a horrible illness.  
By the time the doctor was finished speaking, everyone was sobbing. This couldn't happen, not to sweet, sweet Louis.  
"D-doctor C-Corden?" Louis whispered, with tears falling down his cheeks.  
"Yes?" He responded with a sympathetic smile.  
"Do you have any idea what I'll feel like?" He asked, scared and sad.  
"Having never experienced it myself, the best way I can describe it is in the words of one of my old patients. He described it as a 'fog creeping up on the horizon, where you feel it on the back of your neck and it rises up and envelops your head. The brain just feels numb.' " Doctor Corden with a sad look on his face.  
Louis just nodded, curling in on himself not wanting to talk anymore.  
"Is there any other questions you have for me?" The kind doctor asked as he gathered up his papers and stood.  
The three shook their heads silently, all processing this new information in their minds.  
"I'll be back shortly then with the discharge papers." Doctor Corden said, exiting the room.

"Lou?" Harry asked after a few moments of silence. "Is there anything I can do? Anything you need?" He wrapped his arms around the scared, sick boy.  
Louis looked at him with tears trickling down his face. "Just..... don't let go."


	7. Chapter 7

February 1st 2018  
The chilly air was the first thing Harry noticed when he awoke that morning. Making sure Louis was still asleep, he slipped out of bed to go adjust the thermostat. Turning the heat up a little, he glanced out the window, and smiled, seeing it had snowed again. They'd had a cold, but dry January and it was nice to see the snow. He knew Louis would be excited. Louis could spend hours just watching the snow fall and admiring the way it glistened, he loved it. Louis loved feeling it even more, despite the cold. Any time that it snowed, Harry took him outside. It made Louis happy, and Louis' happiness was Harry's happiness.  
Knowing Louis likely wouldn't wake for another hour or so, Harry made himself a cup of peppermint tea and brought it back to the bedroom. He curled up in the blankets, with his sleeping husband cuddled into his side, as he sipped the tea and scrolled through his phone, sending thank you messages to his friends and family who had wished him a happy birthday. Today, he was twenty six.  
He awoke Louis at his usual time, and a part of him couldn't help but hope, that there would be some miracle and Louis would remember it was Harry's birthday, and say something about it. He felt selfish for even hoping that, but, he couldn't help it. No one wants their birthday to be forgotten.  
When Louis' eyes finally opened, revealing their typical empty confusion, Harry felt a pang of sadness pierce through his chest. Of course Louis hadn't remembered. Why would he have hoped he would? It had been years since Louis had actually remembered Harry's birthday. With a sad smile he gently kissed Louis' pink lips. He of course wasn't upset with him, it wasn't his fault he couldn't remember. What Harry was upset with was the fact that he was slowly losing him to such an awful disease. "Good morning sunshine." He cooed.  
Louis grinned happily at the word sunshine. It reminded him of his favorite song. "Suh-shi." Louis mumbled slowly, over and over again, his way of singing it, at least Harry was pretty sure that's what he was doing. He could never know for sure though.  
After their typical morning routine, Harry decided to take Louis outside to see the snow. He wanted to make sure Louis got to experience every snowfall, because he never knew when it would be his last.  
"It snowed again boo." Harry told him, as he guided his lifelong lover to the window, pointing out to the snow.  
Louis didn't understand a word that Harry said, but the sight of the falling snow mesmerized him. He reached out to touch it, discouraged when his hand hit the glass of the window. Not understanding what had just happened he tried again, furrowing his eyebrows and grunting when he still had no success. He would've kept trying all day if Harry hadn't taken his hand and held it in his own. "It's glass baby. The window." He explained, trying to get Louis to understand.  
He eventually managed to tug Louis away from the window so he could bundle him up to go outside, which proved to be quite the task. Every time Harry managed to get one article of winter clothing on him, Louis took another off. "Louis..." He sighed, "Let's keep our clothes on." It took about thirty minutes, but eventually Harry had gotten Louis completely bundled up to go out into the snow, with a lot of coaxing and encouragement.  
Hand in hand, the husbands went outside into the cold. Louis shivered a little, and leaned against Harry. "A bit chilly out innit?" Harry said casually, trying to make Louis feel normal.  
Louis started mumbling some sort of incoherent jibberish in response, thinking he was truly making conversation with Harry. Like always, Harry nodded along, and hummed in 'agreement' every now and then until Louis went quiet again, having said everything he felt he needed to say.  
Harry kissed his cheek sweetly, "You certainly had a lot to say today didn't you babe?"  
Louis just looked at him, and reached out to try and catch the falling snowflakes. Harry steadied his hand and watched as his beautiful face lit up as he looked at the snowflakes that were landing on his mitten-clad hand. "Did you know that every single snowflake is different? Not one of them is the same." Harry said softly. "They're unique and irreplaceable. Like people. No one is replaceable, especially not you my sweet Lou."  
Louis turned to face Harry with a look in his eyes that Harry hadn't seen in ages. He knew Louis had understood him when the blue eyed man leaned forward, and kissed Harry's cheek, and quietly whispered, "ha...rry." Before his eyes turned cloudy and confused again.  
Harry had no clue what had just happened, but he couldn't have asked for a better gift for his birthday. If there was a God out there, Harry knew he had blessed him that day.  
After a while of looking at the snowflakes, Louis started eating them and licking his hands, which to Harry was their cue to go back inside.  
"How about some hot chocolate?" Harry asked as he took off Louis' coat and scarf, Louis managing to take of his own hat.  
"Yeah, lets have hot chocolate." Harry responded to his own question when Louis didn't answer.  
They carefully walked to the kitchen, Louis' steps small and slow, as Harry guided him, dreading the coming day when Louis wouldn't be able to walk anymore. He got Louis situated at the kitchen counter, and then turned around briefly to make the cocoa. He kept glancing back at his husband to make sure he was okay, needing to know where he was and what he was doing at all times. When he'd finished making the hot chocolate, he quickly went to fridge on the opposite side of the kitchen to get the whipped cream, as he walked back to where Louis had been sitting he saw Louis had gotten off his chair, and was slowly shuffling toward the hall.  
"Louis baby, it's time for hot cocoa. How about we go sit down?" Harry asked gently as he approached him. Louis had a habit of pacing and wandering, which wasn't uncommon with Alzheimer's disease, but it still scared Harry. He had a special wristband on his husband with his name, address, phone number, and an explanation of his condition on it, just in case he were to ever wander away by mistake.  
Louis looked up at Harry with a smile, and together they went back to the kitchen. Harry helped Louis to drink his hot chocolate, taking a picture of his cute face with a whipped cream mustache. "You're adorable." He chuckled as he helped Louis wipe his face.  
Louis sloppily licked his lips, and yawned, having been in the snow wore him out.  
"Ready for a nap baby?" Harry rubbed his back softly.  
Louis recognized the word nap, and managed a small nod.  
"Alright c'mon then." Harry said leading him back to their bedroom.  
Once Louis was settled under the covers, Harry kissed his forehead. "Sleep well Lou." He whispered.  
It hadn't been such a bad birthday after all.

After a dinner of chicken and rice, Harry and Louis were cuddled up on the couch as Harry read a simple story aloud. It wasn't until about halfway through the story that Harry noticed the quiet grunts coming from his lover.  
"Baby, you alright?" He asked, obviously concerned.  
Of course, Louis didn't have an answer for him, and grunted again, his face scrunching up it what looked like concentration. He let out a small fart, and that's when Harry realized what was happening. Louis was doing his business. Right there on Harry's lap. "Oh babe..." Harry said with tears in his eyes. Suddenly feeling his lap grow wet, he lifted Louis into his arms, and carried him to the bathroom, but by the time they reached the toilet Louis had already wet and messed himself.  
And just like that, Harry's day was ruined. Again, not because of Louis. He loved Louis with all his heart and soul, and he was more than willing to help him. His day was ruined because of the awful illness that was taking Louis away from him.

After Louis was all cleaned up, Harry dressed him in fresh pajamas and got him into bed. It was in those quiet moments, right after Louis had fallen asleep, that the memories of their first conversation with Doctor Corden, almost ten years ago, played through Harry's mind like a horror film, that had no end. Harry knew that Louis was in stage six now. And it scared the shit out of him.


	8. Chapter 8

January 21st 2009  
The kids were all at school, and Jay was cleaning up about the house, when she received a phone call. "Hello?"  
"Hello, is this Johanna?" The voice on the phone replied.  
"It is, may I ask who's calling?" She asked nervously.  
"This is Mr. Cowell at Hall Cross Academy. I was calling regarding your son, Louis." He said.  
Jay frowned, knowing that it was Louis' principal. "Oh? What about him?"  
"Well, we need to discuss a few things that have been brought to my attention by his teachers. Would now be a good time for you to come?" He asked.  
"Oh, um, yeah. I'll be right there." She said hanging up the phone, and carding a hand through her caramel colored hair with a sigh. This was going to be fun.

"It's good to see you again." Mr. Cowell greeted when Jay stepped into his office.  
"You as well." She said with a half smile.  
"So, the last time I saw you was the beginning of the fall, when you told me about Louis' Alzheimer's." He said rather bluntly, Johanna grimacing at the word.  
"That's right." She said quietly.  
"Well, I believe that you should take your son out of school." He said, his voice lacking any sympathy.  
"What? Why? He can still learn! He's not an invalid!" Jay said, getting defensive. "He may not be doing as well as he used to, but he's getting by."  
"I'm not so sure about that... his English teacher, Mr. Sheeran, brought this to me today." He said sliding a paper over to Jay. "That was his most recent writing assignment."  
Jay started to read the paper, not finding anything at all wrong with it at first, until the fourth paragraph. The paper was supposed to be about the book they were reading in class;  
'I think that the reason Mr. Hyde is such an important part of Dr. Jekyll is because there is this darkness that-' the paper completely changed to another topic at this point, as Louis had forgotten what he was writing about. 'Back in the 1700's there was a group of people who decided to leave our nation, and form their own-' Jay stopped reading, unable to handle more. Tears welled up in her eyes, blurring her vision as she passed the paper back to Mr. Cowell.  
"This isn't the first time apparently. He's losing focus." Mr. Cowell said, his voice monotone. "I really feel it would be best if he leave school. It's doing him no good."  
"I um, I don't think he will like that idea." Jay said, "Wouldn't it be possible to let him just come to school, without worrying about his grades and stuff? So he at least feels normal? Because for the most part he is. He's still completely functioning, and he has awareness. He's just forgetful for right now at least."  
Mr. Cowell sighed. "I suppose we can figure something out, and we will let you know. Alzheimer's is a very serious-"  
"I know! Okay?! I know." Jay seethed, she was sick of people who acted like her son was suddenly a nobody. That's why she only told the teachers, his doctors, and of course Harry had found out. None of his friends knew. None of his peers. Not even his aunts and uncles or grandparents knew yet.  
She and the principal said their goodbyes, and soon she was out the door, headed back home. Unbeknownst to her, there had been a listening ear outside of Mr. Cowell's office, and she had heard every word. Ashton Irwin. The most popular kid, as well as the biggest bully in school. (no hate on him in real life guyssss I just needed a character. I love Ashton and 5sos :)) With a smirk, he pulled out his phone. He was going to ruin Louis.

"What's on your locker Lou?" Niall asked that afternoon as he followed Louis to his locker to get his lunch. There was a note taped on Louis' locker. "It better not be something from a secret admirer, Harry would have a bitch fit."  
Louis giggled, and took the paper off of his locker, flipping it over to read it. He brought a hand to his mouth, as tears welled up in his eyes when he saw what it was. Someone had photoshopped his face onto the body of an old man with a walker.  
'Young Geezer' was what was written on it.  
"What does it say Lou?" Niall asked trying to look at it, but Louis crumpled it into a ball angrily.  
"It's nothing." He muttered, "Let's go."  
Niall frowned, trying to get the paper from Louis, who was suddenly distracted by Ashton, Michael, Luke and Calum, laughing at him and walking like old men.  
"Hey Louis, what class do you have next?" Luke asked with a smug look on his face.  
"I uh-" Louis frowned, not even sure.  
"Oh right, sorry I forgot your memory problems!" Luke laughed.  
"No worries though, I can help you remember. It's down the street, the water aerobics class at Sunnyside resting home. You're a long way from there." Calum said. "Need some assistance getting there?"  
Louis glared at them, with tears in his eyes. He knew they were cruel, but how could people take such a horrible disease and make fun of it? He shoved past them and ran down the hall to the bathroom, tears streaming down his cheeks.  
"What the hell was that all about?" Niall glared at them, confused.  
"Oh you haven't heard? He's got the old people disease." Michael laughed. "What's it called again?"  
"Alzheimers." Ashton chimed in.  
"He what?" Niall's eyebrows went up in shock.  
"Yeah go ask him. Maybe he'll tell you. If he remembers that is." Ashton smirked, earning a slap in the face from Niall, who quickly ran after Louis.  
Niall rushed into the bathroom, seeing Louis' little body curled up on the floor in the final stall of the bathroom. He knocked on the stall door softly. "Louis? It's me, Niall. Can you open up?"  
He heard a small click, and the stall swung open, revealing Louis' tear stained cheeks. Niall immediately sat down on the floor beside him, wrapping his arms around him.  
"I'm so sorry they did that to you, no one in their right mind would ever treat someone that way." Niall murmured.  
Louis stayed silent, just burying his head into his friend, and crying.  
After a long while, Louis ran out of tears, and was now just silently leaning against Niall.  
"Louis? Can I ask... is it true? About the alzheimers?" Niall asked.  
Louis swallowed the lump in his throat. "Yeah, it's true." He whispered.


	9. Chapter 9

January 22 2009  
"I'm nervous mum." Louis mumbled, fiddling with his fingers.  
"Don't be nervous Lou. They're your best friends, I'm sure they'll be happy to help." Jay assured her son, rubbing his back.  
"Yeah... I guess so. But what if they get teased too? Because of me?" He asked, "I don't want to be the reason they get teased or bullied."  
"They care about you Louis. And even if they get teased, they will still love you." She replied, kissing the top of his head.  
Louis nodded a little, staying quiet for a few moments before speaking again. "I just wanna be normal again mum. I wanna go to school normally, be able to do my assignments, understand my math homework like I used to."  
"I know sweetheart, I know." Jay said sadly, "But sometimes life doesn't go the way we want."  
The two sat on the couch in silence, Louis keeping himself cuddled into his mum as they waited for the boys to arrive. Jay had sent his other siblings; Lottie and Fizzy ,off to their friends' houses because she didn't want them to know about Louis' illness yet.   
When the doorbell finally rang, Louis hopped up to get it, smiling when he saw his three best friends, and his boyfriend standing there with open arms. He walked into Harry's arms, the others joining in on the hug.  
"Boys! Come in!" Jay greeted with a smile coming over to them all. They said their hellos, and followed her inside.

"Wow. Alzheimer's is more intense than I realized." Zayn said with wide eyes, as Jay finished explaining the details of Louis' illness. The boys were scattered about the living room, with Liam, Zayn and Niall on the couch, Louis in Harry's lap on the love seat, and Jay in the recliner.  
"It is. It's a very serious condition. Basically it is the degeneration of his brain." Jay explained.  
"Wow.... Louis I'm so sorry." Liam said, his big brown eyes full of sympathy.  
"It is what it is." Louis sighed, leaning into Harry as they cuddled, "So uh, I have a favor to ask you guys.... and I understand if it's not something you're willing to do."  
"I speak for us all when I say we'd do anything for you babe." Harry kissed his shoulder.  
"Yeah, anything." Niall chimed in.  
Taking a deep breath, Louis looked around the room at them all. "Okay.... well, Principal Cowell thinks I shouldn't be in school anymore."  
"What? Why?" Harry asked, looking down at him confused. "You're still doing fine!"  
Louis sighed, "Not really." His cheeks went dark red with embarrassment. "Apparently my English papers have been scattered and hard to follow, and the assignments in my other classes are just not at a passing level... when I remember to do them that is."  
"Oh Lou.... maybe being out of school won't be such a bad thing. I mean you'll be away from Ashton and his shit stick friends." Niall said, trying to find a positive.  
"Well... actually I'm not planning on leaving school." Louis replied.  
"But you just said-" Liam started to say but Louis cut him off.  
"This is where the favor comes in. I was hoping I could um, go to classes with you guys. Like I could go with Harry to his first class, Niall to his second... etc. Principle Cowell won't allow me to go to my own classes any more, he says it's a liability, since I could get hurt or lost. And apparently it could become a distraction if I'm unassisted." He mumbled feeling pathetic. "So either I have to drop out, go to special ed, or go to classes with you guys." His voice was quiet and shaky, he was so nervous and embarrassed.  
"Of course we will let you come to our classes, right guys?" Liam said sweetly, looking around at the others, earning a sea of nods.  
"Really?" Louis asked, with a small smile appearing on his face.  
"Really." Harry confirmed, hugging him close.  
And so it was. The boys planned out a schedule for Louis, so they each had him with them for one class, and Harry had him for two.  
Of course, the situation wasn't ideal. Louis would much rather have more independence, and attend his own classes, but that wasn't possible anymore, so this was the next best option if he didn't want to stay home all day everyday, which he definitely didn't. And hey, Louis would be lying if he said he didn't like not having to do homework anymore.  
At this point Louis knew school would have no impact on his future anyway, since the doctor's said he'd really only have eight to twelve years left of life, each day his mind being worse than the last. So really, school was just a distraction for him. Something for him to do, and make him feel a little more normal, so he was grateful to his friends for allowing him to tag along with them to their classes.  
He had the best friends in the world.

May 16th 2009  
By now, everyone knew about Louis. He was known as the 'kid with Alzheimer's' and was the talk of the school. His forgetfulness at this point was quite obvious. Of course Ashton, his friends, and some other kids bullied him, but the majority of kids at school were nice enough. The problem was they didn't know how to act about it all, and acted awkward around him. They would be all weird if he tried to make conversation, and they avoided him in the halls. His friends of course, were always supportive, and the teachers were kind, so overall things were okay. Most days were good days, and Louis was glad for that.

It had been a good day. Louis had remembered the way to his locker, he remembered what classes he was going to and with whom, he even remembered what day it was.  
It was now the end of the day, and Louis was sitting in Harry's history class with him, the regular teacher was out with the flu, and they had a substitute in her place.   
Louis was trying to take notes, and pay attention, even though he wasn't being graded. He did it merely trying to keep his cognitive skills alive.  
"Okay class, can anyone tell me what year marked the beginning of the French Revolution?" Ms. Calder, the substitute teacher asked.  
Louis' hand shot up in the air. He had always loved history, and he knew the answer to this one.  
"Louis maybe you shouldn't..." harry whispered, tugging on Louis' arm a little. He wasn't sure this was a good idea, and he didn't want Louis to be humiliated.  
But Louis, always stubborn, didn't listen, and kept his hand in the air.  
"Yes, you in the back." Ms. Calder smiled as she pointed to him.  
"What?" Louis asked, having completely forgotten the question.  
"The answer...?" She prodded with a sigh, the class snickering a bit.  
"What answer?" Louis furrowed his eyebrows, and right then, Harry really wished he knew what year started the French Revolution because he hated to see Louis embarrassed.  
"To the question." Ms. Calder said, a bit impatiently, "What year marked the start of the French Revolution?"  
Louis pursed his lips, he felt like he should know this. He loved history! Why didn't he know this? "Oh, ummm sorry I don't know." He muttered, blushing deeply, causing the class to laugh more.  
"I would appreciate if you only raise your hand when you know the answer." Ms. Calder rolled her eyes, "Now does anyone else know the answer?"  
Luke, one of Ashton's friends raised his hand.  
"Yes?" She pointed at the blond, tapping her foot.  
"I actually don't know either, I just wanted to say that you're not supposed to call on Louis. He has all-timers, and he's not even in this class. He just doesn't understand enough to go to his own classes." He said, smirking.  
"It's Alzheimer's you moron." Harry spoke up, anger filling his voice, as he wrapped an arm around Louis protectively.  
The ignorant substitute teacher looked at them confused. "Well, that's impossible. He's only in high school."  
Louis hated this. The way people tended to talk about him like he wasn't even there. "It's not impossible." He mumbled quietly, looking down at his lap, a small unnoticed tear slipping down his cheek.  
"Right well, I don't know what is going on-" Ms. Calder began, only to be interrupted by Luke.  
"Louis doesn't either!" He joked, the class all laughing.  
"Okay, that'll be enough out of you." She gave him a look, "Anyway, as I was saying, I'm not sure what is going on, or whether you guys are just trying to see how gullible I am with the whole 'Alzheimer's' thing, but let's get on with the lesson. The year the French Revolution began was..." She rambled on, continuing with the lesson.  
Harry rolled his eyes at the teacher's behavior and looked over at Louis, rubbing his arm.  
"You alright sweetheart?" He asked, looking at him, and seeing the little tear on his cheek.  
"Yeah... why wouldn't I be?" Louis whispered.  
"You know why." Harry said softly, thinking Louis was just being sarcastic.  
"No... I really don't. Did something happen?" Louis replied, making Harry's heart shatter. He'd already forgotten what just happened.  
"No, no, nothing happened. Just wanted to make sure you're alright is all." Harry smiled sadly.  
"Oh, okay." Louis smiled, taking Harry's hand and kissing it. "Love you." He whispered.  
"Love you too baby." Harry responded, "Love you too."


	10. Chapter 10

February 20th 2018  
"Harry I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but, have you considered taking Louis to a home or something?" Zayn asked quietly as he and Harry sat sipping tea at the kitchen table.  
It was just after 8 pm, and Louis was fast asleep in bed, but that hadn't stopped Harry from locking all the rooms and bathrooms in case he were to wake up and wander.   
Harry sighed, "Yes, I've considered it. But it feels unethical Z. I don't want to just send him off somewhere. He deserves his dignity."  
"I know, but as much as it hurts to say, he's only going to keep getting worse." Zayn said quietly, "Are you sure you're able to continue caring for him? Be what he needs?"  
"For as long as I can, I'm going to be his sole caregiver." Harry stated firmly, "And when the time comes that he needs more than what I can provide, I'm getting him a hospice nurse."  
Zayn nodded. "Sorry for bringing it up. I'm just worried about you Harry. You're worn down. You look tired, stressed."  
"I'm fine Zayn really." Harry assured him. It was true, he was tired. Exhausted. Stressed. Worried. But there was only so much time left, and he wanted nothing more than to spend it all with his sweet husband.   
Zayn put a hand on Harry's shoulder. "You're so strong mate. You really are."

**********  
February 21st 2018  
Louis' favorite color was green. It always had been. He used to say it reminded him of Harry's eyes. He hadn't said that in a long time.   
Louis however, didn't cease to get excited every time he saw the color green. It made Harry smile.   
Today was Wednesday. Errands day. Harry loved and hated running errands with Louis. He loved it because Louis enjoyed being out and seeing people, and animals, and the world. He hated it because, it was difficult. He had to keep him close, make sure he didn't wander away or get lost. And even more, he hated the judgmental people. On the outside, Louis didn't appear to have anything wrong, but the way he spoke and behaved, made his disability apparent, and people were quick to laugh or turn away. It was heartbreaking.   
As they walked, or rather shuffled, through the supermarket, Harry kept a protective arm around Louis, making sure he stayed safe. With the next holiday being Saint Patrick's day, the market was adorned with all sorts of green decorations and goodies, and Louis couldn't have been more excited. Every few steps he stopped to touch or try and take one of the decorations.   
Harry chuckled as Louis reached out to touch a green leprechaun hat that was for sale. "It's green. Your favorite." Harry said slowly so he would hopefully understand.  
"Grrrrrnnn" Louis tried to repeat, with a wide smile.   
"Yeah, green." Harry kissed his head and they continued through the shop.   
And so it went for the rest of their outing, continuously stopping every few moments to look at something green. And Harry found it so endearing, and being ever patient and kind, respected him and let him stop whenever he wanted to. Even if it meant their grocery trip took 2 hours.   
When they finally reached the checkstand, Harry couldn't help but buy Louis the big green lollipop he'd been eyeing.   
"Here love." Harry handed Louis the goodie, making him grin.  
"grrrrnnn" Louis said slowly and happily.  
"That's right Lou. Green." Harry always repeated what Louis said, to validate it and hopefully help him hold onto the word.   
Harry unwrapped the lollipop and handed it over to Louis before paying for their items as the cashier watched awkwardly. Louis was holding the sweet upside down, and trying to eat the stick.  
The cashier bit his lip. "Umm" he tried not to giggle, "I think maybe you should hold it the other way sir."  
Harry glared at him before turning his focus to Louis. He sighed. "Here baby, this way." He gently flipped the lollie and helped Louis put it in his mouth. His sense of taste was deteriorating, along with the rest of his mind and body, but the flavor was still nice so Louis made a soft hum of pleasure.   
The lollipop kept Louis occupied the whole drive home. He kept taking it out of his mouth and looking at it, announcing it was green, touching it with his fingers (harry hoped he didn't get sick from that), and putting it back in his mouth.   
"Well that was a nice outing." Harry said smiling. They had three major outings a week. Monday nights were date night, Wednesdays they ran errands, and Fridays they did something with one of their friends.   
Louis just stared at him in response, before moving to get out of the car.   
"Hey! You're supposed to let me be a gentleman and open the door!" Harry joked, even though louis likely didn't understand.   
Louis 'helped' put away the groceries, but was a little more hindering than he was helpful. He kept trying to put everything in the oven. From ice cream, to paper towels, to the bagged salad Harry had bought.   
Harry had tears in his eyes as he had to show Louis where everything went. You'd think he'd be used to it by now, but he didn't think he'd ever get used to the fact that his husband was confused and slipping away. That was just something he couldn't accept.   
Once all the groceries were put away, Harry checked Louis' nappy, which he'd recently started using, and finding it clean and dry, he led him to the couch. Then, sitting down, with Louis beside him, he told him about their past. Memories that he'd cherish forever as Louis absently listened, picking up a few words here and there, until he eventually fell asleep.


	11. Chapter 11

December 17th 2009  
The Fray had been Louis' favorite band for years, so back in June, when Harry found out they'd be coming to London on December 17th, just a week before Louis' birthday, he'd saved up all his money to buy tickets. He didn't just buy any old tickets however, he bought the meet & greet vip package, with the best seats he could get. It was the perfect present for Louis' 18th birthday. He'd also booked a hotel for the night, with Jay's permission of course, for them to stay in. Harry planned on making Louis feel extra special and loved, because that's what the beautiful boy deserved.   
Harry knocked on Louis' door, barely able to contain his excitement.   
The door swung open, revealing the face of Harry's most favorite person, clad in pajamas, and fluffy hair sticking up like a hedgehog. It was obvious he'd just woken up. He rubbed his eyes with his small fists and smiled, "Harry? What're you doing here?"   
"I'm here to make all your dreams come true!" Harry grinned.   
"Umm.. what?" Louis giggled cutely.  
"Okay okay, not all your dreams... but I am here to take you somewhere you've always wanted to go." Harry said more seriously, taking Louis' small hands in his own larger ones.  
Louis looked at him, brows furrowed, as he tried to think of what in the world Harry was going on about.   
"We're going to London for the Fray concert!" Harry exclaimed, keeping the part about meeting them a surprise, "We are also going to be staying at the Ritz for the night."  
Louis' eyes widened, "Haz... are... are you serious?! The Ritz costs a fortune!"   
Harry blushed, "I just wanted to do something really special for your birthday Lou."  
Louis engulfed Harry in the tightest hug he could possibly muster, "Thank you so so much! I'll go pack my bag right now!"   
Jay came from around the corner smiling, "Already done love." She kissed his forehead handing him his overnight bag.   
"Oh!" He looked up at her surprised, "Thanks mummy!"   
She chuckled, "You're welcome darling. Now go get changed, you've got a big day ahead."   
Louis nodded and hurried off, he put on the classiest outfit he could find, and styled his hair into the perfect quiff. Today was going to be perfect, and he wasn't going to let anything get in his way.   
"You look absolutely stunning." Harry whispered into Louis' ear the moment he returned, as he immediately wrapped an arm around him.   
"Thanks haz... you look quite handsome yourself." Louis replied with a light blush dusting his angled cheekbones.   
"Have fun boys. Don't do anything I wouldn't approve of!" Johanna said with a laugh, hugging them both.  
"Oh my gosh mum...." Louis groaned, his light blush turning to a dark red one.   
"I'm just saying." She laughed, "You know I got pregnant with you when I was eighteen...."   
"Okay we're leaving now. Bye!" Louis said quickly, not wanting to hear any more.  
******  
The train ride to London was spent chatting excitedly about the concert. Well, Louis was doing most of the chatting, and Harry was more than happy to listen to his animated voice. Louis had the most unique voice, it was high pitched and soft, yet also still masculine. It was soft, sweet, and had a small rasp to it. There was no better sound really, Harry could listen to Louis for hours.   
Louis was in awe at the hotel, it was absolutely gorgeous. He couldn't believe Harry would do all this for him.   
"Harry... this is amazing. Thank you." Louis said softly as they followed the bellhop who carried their bags up to their suite.   
"Anything for my lou." Harry said softly squeezing his hand, and planting a kiss to his cheek. "You deserve it."  
After getting their things situated in the room, Louis plopped down on the bed, patting the space beside him for Harry to join him, but the taller lad shook his head. "No time to lay around right now, we've gotta get going!"  
"But... the concert's not until late this evening..?" Louis raised an eyebrow.  
"Yes, but don't you want to meet them?" Harry asked, a smile growing on his face.  
"Wait... what???" Louis asked, sitting up straighter.  
"I may have gotten meet and greet passes...." Harry smirked.  
Louis leapt off the bed and jumped into Harry's arms koala style. "Oh. My. Gosh. Hazza, I'm meeting the Fray?!?!?!"  
Harry chuckled and nodded, kissing Louis' head. "Yeah, babe, you are."   
******  
The whole wait in the VIP line Louis kept fixing his hair, and asking Harry if he looked okay. He was so nervous, and so excited. He wanted to make a good impression on the band that had changed his life!   
"Next!" The security guard called out, signaling it was their turn. Louis looked up at Harry nervously, his palms sweaty.  
"Relax babe, you look great. They're gonna love you." He chuckled, and with that they were being ushered toward the band.   
"Hello boys!" Isaac Slade, the lead singer greeted them.  
Immediately Louis' eyes welled up with tears, they were real. In person, standing in front of him. This had to be a dream.   
"H-hi..." Louis whispered, his small shaking hand covering his mouth. He was in shock.   
"You alright?" Isaac reached out and hugged the small boy, Dave the guitarist reaching out and rubbing Louis' back.   
"I'm more than alright... I'm amazing." Louis said softly, unable to control the tears that were now dripping down his cheeks. Harry stood back a bit, watching fondly as Louis lived his little dream.   
"Then why the tears?" Ben, the drummer asked.   
"I just.... it sounds silly but I thought I'd never get the chance to see your concert! Let alone meet you!" Louis gushed, wiping his eyes.   
"Well, why's that?" Isaac asked.  
"I... I have Alzheimer's." Louis admitted sadly, "I don't have long to live..."   
Immediately, Louis was wrapped up in another hug, this time a group hug with all the members.   
"At such a young age.... wow." Dave smiled at him sadly, "You're a strong lad."  
Louis blushed, "You really think so?"   
"Oh, I know so. Handling something so serious at such a young age, that's strength." Dave said patting his shoulder.   
And Louis was sobbing again.   
"Can you do me a favor?" Isaac asked, putting a hand on Louis' back.  
Louis nodded rapidly, "Anything!"  
"Tonight, during the concert, just let the music take you away. Tonight, you're not struggling. Tonight you're happy. Tonight, you don't have Alzheimer's, okay?" Isaac suggested.  
"Okay... yeah. I can do that for tonight." Louis smiled.  
And he did. He danced without a care in the world, sang at the top of his lungs, kissed Harry so many times that his lips were numb. And, he didn't think about his Alzheimers. Not once, the whole time.  
******  
"Harry?" Louis murmured quietly, tracing patterns on Harry's bare chest as they lay in the hotel bed, they'd given each other everything that night and it was beautiful.  
"Yeah?" Harry responded quietly.   
"This is how I want you to remember me. The way I was tonight." Louis said softly.  
"Lou don't-"  
"No Harry hear me out." Louis interrupted. "Remember me. Not who I'm going to become. Remember me the way I was tonight. Happy, giggly, in love.... I know I'm never going to be the same again, but just remember me, okay?"   
Harry nodded with tears glistening in his green eyes. "Okay."  
"I love you." Louis replied  
"I love you too. And I'll always remember you."


	12. Chapter 12

September 28 1997  
"Bye mummy! Love you!" Louis waved from his new desk as his mum left. It was his first day of primary school, and to say he was excited would be an understatement. He'd been counting down the days for months.   
Jay smiled back, waving at her sweet son before leaving, hoping he loved it as much as he thought he would.   
Louis hummed happily, swinging his short little legs that didn't quite touch the ground, as he sat waiting for his table partner, (and hopefully new friend!) to arrive. After what felt like ages, but in reality was only about three minutes, Louis was growing bored of waiting. Where was his table partner?! He had to find him! Not looking where he was going, the young boy clambered off his chair and turned, his small body slamming into a slightly larger one.  
"Oops!" He giggled, steadying himself.  
"Hi." A shy voice replied.  
Louis looked up, his cornflower blue eyes meeting a dazzling pair of emerald green ones. He blushed and quickly looked down. "I'm Louis." He said, avoiding eye contact as he held out his hand.  
"Harry." The other boy responded quietly.  
Louis immediately looked back up at him, his eyes sparkling with excitement as he smiled. "You're my table mate!"  
Harry grinned, dimples appearing on his rosy cheeks as Louis showed him the table they were to share, babbling on and on about how he didn't have any siblings yet, but wanted a sister. He also learned that Louis had 23 superhero figurines at home, and that he had a cherry tree in his backyard. He learned that there was a pigeon that lived in his window sill that wouldn't leave, and he'd ended up naming it Kevin. He learned that Louis hated the color brown, and well... lots of other things. Louis just kept talking, and Harry just kept listening. He didn't mind though, he liked listening. He was the quiet type anyway,and Louis' voice could make arithmetic seem interesting quite honestly.  
"Okay class," their teacher Ms. Teasdale eventually spoke, "I have a special first assignment for you all." The class of five year olds immediately started listening. "For your assignment I'm going to give you all fifteen minutes to draw a picture of what you would like to be when you grow up." She explained. "Any questions?"  
Louis raised his hand. "Can I use my crayons?"  
Ms. Teasdale chuckled a bit, "Of course," she glanced at his nameplate, "Louis."  
He grinned happily, and immediately started drawing on the blank paper that sat in front of him. As they worked on their pictures, Louis continued to talk Harry's ear off about anything and everything that came to his mind.  
When fifteen minutes had passed, it was time for the class to present their pictures. Louis was first.  
"Hi! I'm Louis and when I grow up I want to be two things!" He grinned proudly holding his picture in the air. "I want to be a teacher... but even more, I want to be a dad!" He explained pointing to the picture he was holding. It was a drawing of a stick figure family. There were two men in the middle, one with obvious curly hair, and they were surrounded by lots of children. "This is my future family!" He explained.   
"Where's the mummy?" One boy asked, looking at the picture.   
"There's two daddies." Louis explained innocently.   
"But there can't be two daddies! There has to be a mummy!" The boy argued.   
"Yes there can!" Louis exclaimed angrily. "This one is me, and this one is Harry!"   
Harry blushed from his seat, a small smile on his face. He'd only just met the boy, and he already thought he was the sweetest little creature in the universe. He'd be a daddy with him any day.   
"No there can't!" A little girl chimed in.   
Confused, angry tears welled up in poor Louis' eyes as he didn't know how to respond.   
"Look what you did! You made him cry!" Harry exclaimed standing up in his seat. "Stop being meanies! There can be two daddies!"  
Louis smiled a little, a silent thank you to Harry.  
"Harry's right." Ms. Teasdale spoke, coming and putting a hand on Louis' tiny shoulder. "We need to all be nice and love each other."   
Louis sniffled and wiped his nose with the back of his chubby little hand, before walking back to his seat.  
"It's okay Louis, I thought your picture was very nice." young Harry whispered.  
Louis nodded a little. "Thanks..." he mumbled.   
"Do you really think we will be dad's together?" The curly - haired child asked.   
Louis nodded again. "We're gonna get married one day, I know it." He responded with a small smile.   
And Harry believed him.


	13. Chapter 13

March 17th 2018  
It was St. Patrick's day. Harry had actually been quite looking forward to this day for quite a while, as he knew Louis loved green. He wanted the day to be extra special for him, knowing that Louis may never experience another St. Patrick's day. While Louis had been sleeping, Harry had adorned the house with fun green decorations. He'd also put a green ribbon around Bobo's neck. He of course didn't go too far with the green theme, because Louis could easily get confused.   
"Louis darling... wake up." Harry stroked his cheek as he always did, waiting for Louis to open his beautiful eyes.   
When Louis' eyes did open however, they looked duller and more hollow than usual.   
"Hello boo..." Harry furrowed his eyebrows, "are you alright darling?" He didn't expect an answer, but he also didn't expect Louis to vomit all down the front of himself -which he did.   
"Oh love." Harry said looking at him sympathetically. "Poorly today hm?"   
Louis just stared at him, letting out a sick sounding burp before closing his eyes.  
"No honey... no don't go to sleep. We've gotta get you cleaned up and to a doctor." Harry said softly, helping him sit up a bit more, and rubbing his back.   
Louis kept his eyes shut, feeling so so sick and having no way to express how he felt. Little tears started leaking from the corners of his closed eyes, breaking Harry's heart. "I know sweetheart... I know. We'll get you feeling better soon."  
Harry gently lifted Louis out of bed, knowing he wouldn't be up for walking, as it was already a struggle for him on good days. He kissed his forehead, and frowned at the temperature. "You're running a fever." He murmured, biting his lip. He decided to skip the bath and just change Louis' clothes, so he could get him to a doctor quickly. Knowing that his husband was already getting worse, he didn't want to risk anything taking him any faster than he was already slipping away.   
He carried him out to the car quickly, setting a bag in the car as well, just in case, and sped to the emergency room. To some, it may seem he was over reacting to a fever and a bit of vomiting, but with Louis deteriorating before his eyes, Harry had every right to react the way he did.   
"Hello, how may we help you?" The woman at the front desk greeted.  
"Hi, my husband is sick with a fever and he vomited this morning." Harry started, but before he could continue the woman interrupted him.  
"Sir, we take emergencies only here. There's a clinic down the road if-"   
"No. I'm not taking him to a clinic! This is an emergency! His brain and body are shutting down. He has Alzheimer's and I'm not sure what this illness means for him." Harry stated firmly.  
The woman looked at him strangely, "Alzheimers? He's way too young."   
"Well yes I think so too, but he has it and I would appreciate if we could get some help." Harry said impatiently.   
She rolled her eyes "I'll put you on the list. It'll be about twenty minutes."  
Harry sighed, "He needs help now!"   
"Look sir, it's not a life or death situation, there's a flu going around. I'm sure it's that. But if you must see a doctor, it's going to be at least twenty minutes."  
Harry shook his head, "Fine. We'll wait." He headed toward the waiting area, sitting down with a sleeping Louis in his arms. "I'm sorry baby." He whispered, "I tried."   
He sat, staring the receptionist down with a death glare for several minutes until Louis stirred in his arms a bit, turning his head to the side and vomiting on the floor.   
"Again? Oh babe... you really aren't well." Harry murmured as Louis slowly turned his head back to look up at Harry, his eyes pleading for help and comfort. Harry brushed the hair away from Louis' boiling forehead. His fever had risen and he was now violently shivering in Harry's arms. A nurse quickly approached them, "I'll get someone to clean that up, come on let's get you checked out." She said to Louis, who just made a garbled, sad, sound in response.   
"He's in the final stages of Alzheimer's" Harry whispered, and the nurse instantly understood why he'd responded the way he did. Nodding understandingly, she helped Harry get Louis into a wheelchair and they took him back to an examination room.   
After a long examination, and lots of questions, as well as a throat swab it was determined that Louis had the flu. Harry was so grateful it wasn't something more serious, and once the doctor had prescribed some meds they were on their way home. It would be a long week, sure, but nothing Harry couldn't handle. He was just grateful to still have his husband.   
\---------------------------------  
While Harry and Louis had an early night, which wasn't anything out of the ordinary honestly, all their friends and family were out clubbing and celebrating the Irish originated holiday.   
Niall had gone out with Liam and Zayn, as Shawn was out of town for a business trip. While the two were fun to be around when sober, after a few drinks they weren't so fun anymore. The two found fun grinding against each other for hours... literally. So Niall was left to drink alone. It wasn't like he intended to have seven shots and a beer... but it happened anyway. With the room slightly swaying around him, and the lights intensely bright, Niall almost didn't notice the figure crying alone in the corner. Almost. Wondering what could be wrong he staggered over to whoever it was standing there.   
"Lottie?" He slurred cocking his head to the side.   
"Ni...." She immediately wrapped her arms around him, needing comfort.   
"Whoa... what's wrong?" He asked sobering up a bit, not much, but a bit.  
"My friendsss" she drawled, obviously drunk herself. "They all left with men... but not me. No one wants me..." she sobbed.  
Whether it was just the alcohol, or Niall's true feelings, no one could be sure, but in that moment he did something completely unexpected. "I want you." He said, looking her in the eyes, before pressing his lips against her neck.   
Always having had a slight crush on Niall, his words were all it took for Lottie to lean into his touch.   
And the next morning when Niall awoke in his bed, with the blonde female in his tee-shirt lying beside him, all he could think was... shit.


	14. Chapter 14

April 15th 2018  
Things had changed over the month since Louis had the flu. It had weakened his immune system, and all the downtime had quickened his forgetting how to walk. As much as Harry knew Louis would hate it, he reluctantly had gotten him a walker to help him, but he tried not to make him use it when possible. Things were getting harder, and Harry hated it so much.   
It was around 6 in the evening, and Harry was sitting at the table with Louis, trying to get him to eat some chicken soup he'd made. Louis couldn't hold the spoon, even with help anymore, and he was forgetting how to eat, so it was a bit of a task.   
"Open up sweetheart," Harry said holding the spoon up to Louis' mouth, but Louis just sat there with his mouth closed. "Please Lou." He pleaded, but still, Louis' mouth remained shut. His mind couldn't grasp the idea of opening his mouth at the moment.   
Harry sighed, and gently held Louis' chin, opening his mouth for him and putting the soup in it. Louis sat with the soup in his mouth for a few seconds before managing to swallow it. "Good, now again." Harry said gently and lovingly, doing the same thing again. About halfway through the soup, Louis started opening his own mouth, and Harry was so happy, The small victories were a big deal to him. After Louis finished, Harry wiped up his chin and took the dishes to the sink continuously looking back over his shoulder to make sure Louis was alright.   
Harry was about finished with the dishes when he heard his phone start to ring, quickly he went back to the table where he'd left it, seeing it was Lottie, and picking it up. "Hey Lotts, everything alright?" Harry asked, as it sounded like she was crying into the phone.   
"No Harry, it's not..." she sobbed, "Can I come over? Is Louis up for visitors? I need to talk..."   
"Yeah, he should be fine. Of course you can come over." Harry said kindly.   
"O-okay, I'll be over soon. Thanks Haz." She replied, before hanging up.   
"Well Louis, looks like we're going to have a visitor, Lottie's coming." Harry told him with a smile, helping him stand up. Instead of using the walker, when possible, Harry just let Louis use him as a stabilizer. With his arms around Louis' middle, Harry very slowly started helping him walk toward the living area. It took a while, but eventually they made it. He pressed a kiss to Louis' temple as they sat on the couch, "I love you." Harry told his lover, "So much." Louis in return, just looked up at him with his empty eyes. He loved Harry too, but he didn't have the capacity to remember or even understand that he did.   
Lottie arrived after about twenty minutes, and she was a bit of a wreck. Hair disheveled, makeup melting down her cheeks, and eyes red. "Whoa Lottie... you're not looking so good." Harry said, hugging her, before leading her to the couch to sit down on the other side of Louis.  
She tried to smile though, not wanting to explain anything until she got to speak to Louis. "Hi Lou" She smiled at her sweet brother, and held his small hand. Louis smiled a little, liking the sound of her voice, and distantly recognized her.   
"So, what's going on?" Harry asked, frowning at the state of her.   
"I.....I'm pregnant" she sobbed, putting her head in her hands.   
Harry was shocked, Lottie had been single as far as he knew. "Oh wow... Lottie this is huge news."   
She nodded, looking up at Harry again and wiping her tears. "I don't think I'm ready for this"   
"How far along are you? You could abort?" Harry suggested, but she shook her head.  
"I'm four weeks... I don't want to do that... I want this baby to have a chance at life, but I just, I'm scared." She admitted, she'd only been out on her own a couple of years and didn't feel ready at all.   
"Well you've got time to prepare, and I'll help in any way I can" Harry said sympathetically, knowing the almost 20 year old would be needing help, especially since Jay had passed nearly 2 years prior.   
"Thanks Harry, it.. it means a lot" She smiled a watery smile.  
"Of course," Harry nodded, "So, do you know who the father is?"   
Her smile immediately became a frown again, "It's Niall."   
"Niall? You mean... like, Niall as in Niall Horan?" Harry was shocked.  
"Yeah..." she sighed, "and he's dating Shawn."  
Harry nodded, "Well shit. Does he know yet?"  
She quickly shook her head, "I don't know how to tell him. Like, 'hey just so you know I'm having your baby'. I mean it's a huge problem, and he's already got a boyfriend."  
Harry frowned, "I know... but he does deserve to know.... how did this happen anyway?" He asked, not wanting to be nosy, but Niall had always been fiercely loyal to the boyfriends and girlfriends he'd had in the past.   
"I dunno... we were both completely trashed, and it just happened I guess" She cried.   
Louis could sense how sad she was, though he'd understood none of it, he knew what crying was of course, and he slowly tried to hug her, his muscle memory a bit off, so it was more like he put his arms on her shoulders.  
"I think he's trying to comfort you" Harry whispered, and immediately more tears streamed down Lottie's cheeks as she loved her sweet brother so much. She wrapped her arms around him tightly, crying into her brother's shoulder. "Thanks Lou.." She whispered as she held tightly to him for a while and just cried.   
When she eventually pulled away she looked at Harry again, "Is there any way I can tell him I'm pregnant so that he understands?"   
Harry sighed sadly, "If you use five or less simple words, there's about a 25% chance he'll understand."  
She nodded, knowing he was getting so much worse. She took Louis' hand and put it on her stomach, looking into his eyes before speaking slowly. "Baby in my tummy" She said as simply as possible.   
Louis' eyes lit up a little, appearing to understand. After about thirty seconds he made a small sound, his mouth barely open as he was trying to say baby. "b..ee"   
"Yeah Lou, a baby." She nodded, wiping her eyes.   
A while later, after saying goodbye to her brother, Harry led her to the door. "That was the only thing I think he's understood all day" he said sadly.   
She nodded, looking down. "He's getting pretty bad isn't he?"   
"Yeah, he can barely walk, and he couldn't remember how to open his mouth at first while eating his dinner today." Harry said tearfully.   
"Do you think he'll be around when the baby comes?" Lottie asked hardly above a whisper.   
"I honestly don't know Lottie, he's in stage six, and stage seven is complete shutdown." Harry said, completely heartbroken hearing himself say it aloud. "We can only take it a day at a time."  
She nodded solemnly. "Well hang in there, and if you need anything let me know." She said, hugging him once more.  
"I will, and same to you. I'm happy to help with anything. With the pregnancy, the baby... any of it" He assured.  
"Thanks Harry, but you've already got Louis to take care of. I should be fine, but emotionally I may need some support." She admitted.  
"Well, call me anytime. I'll always be here to listen" Harry replied.  
"Thank you. I will. And I'll let you know what happens with Niall." She said.  
"Okay, sounds good. Good luck Lotts." Harry told her as she opened the door.   
She thanked him one more time, before heading out to her car.   
As Harry got Louis bathed and ready for bed her question kept playing through his mind. Would Louis be around when the baby was born? As much as he wanted him to be, he feared he really wouldn't.


	15. Chapter 15

December 24th 2009  
Louis woke to a room full of balloons, and his two younger sisters, Lottie and Fizzy, sitting on the edge of his bed with a tray of pancakes, fruit and eggs.   
"Wow, what's all this for?" He yawned with a smile as he sat up.  
Fizzy frowned, she and Lottie still hadn't been told about his Alzheimers. Being only 10 and 12, Jay was trying to keep it from them as long as possible. "Your birthday of course Lou!"   
He furrowed his eyebrows, "My birthday.... that's not today." He shook his head, thinking about it. "My birthday's not until..." he bit his lip, "not until..." When was his birthday? He didn't know. He thought hard, trying to remember, until he completely lost track of what he'd been trying to remember in the first place. "Sorry, uh... what was I saying?"   
Lottie's eyes widened, "I'm getting mum!" She panicked, not knowing what was wrong with their brother, and well there was a lot of explaining, hugs, and tears that day.  
**************************  
Harry and Louis always spent Christmas with each other, it had become a tradition over the years. "Lottie and Fizz know..." Louis whispered as he and Harry sat cuddled by the fireplace, they were at Louis' house this year.  
"Know what?" Harry asked, rubbing Louis' arm as they sat together.  
"About the Alzheimers." He said quietly, "They were so upset. I hurt them so much Harry...you should've seen their faces"  
Harry kissed his temple, "Babe you didn't hurt them..."  
Louis rolled his eyes. "Yes I did! They were crying and it was all my fault!"  
"The disease is at fault, not you. Never you." Harry assured, "The disease hurt them, not you."  
Louis sighed, and leaned against Harry. "Either way, they're hurt. I couldn't remember that today was my own damn birthday, and they freaked out." He felt so pathetic, and he felt guilty about his sisters being so upset.  
Harry pulled him closer, holding him on his lap. "I'm so sorry Louis, so sorry."  
Louis stayed silent for several minutes, his eyes fixed on the fire. Eventually he spoke up again, "They were the only ones left who thought I was normal." He whispered almost inaudibly, "I felt normal around them, but now I don't even have them."  
"Louis-" Harry started, but was cut off.  
"No Harry! I don't want to hear it! I don't want to be told it's okay, or that they still love me the same, because nothing is okay! And yeah, sure, they still love me, but it's different! Harry it's different now!" He shouted, getting really angry about it all.  
"Louis, I-" Harry tried to speak again.  
"No! Stop! Why are you even still with me? My brain is breaking apart, eventually I won't even realize that I love you. You should just leave now, save yourself now." He ranted, getting all his feelings he'd buried so deep down, out again. "Save yourself from having to put up with me forgetting your birthday, our dates, your name.... just leave! I know you want to!"  
Harry got tears in his eyes, and hugged Louis tighter, despite the smaller lad squirming in protest. "Listen to me Louis. I LOVE you. I'm not going anywhere. You're everything to me, and no matter what happens I'll always be here."  
"Even when I forget you?" Louis choked out, knowing that no matter how badly he wanted to remember Harry and how much he loved him, that one day he wouldn't.  
"Louis, you're still the love of my life even if you don't know that anymore." Harry said softly, referring to the future. "I know I'm always in your heart. Even if I'm not in your mind."  
"Harry...." Louis cried.  
"Which is why I want you to marry me." Harry finished, pulling Louis' second birthday present, yes he'd taken him to the Fray, but he wanted him to have something more special, so he got an engagement ring in a beautiful velvet box out of his pocket.  
"What? Harry I- we haven't even finished highschool.. I-"  
"Louis, marry me. After graduation we can get married. I love you to the moon and back, please. Marry me." Harry pleaded.  
"Of course I'll marry you." Louis whispered, tears streaming down his cheeks as he wrapped his arms around Harry's neck, crying into his shoulder.  
"I know we're young, but I wanted to ask you be-"  
Louis cut him off again, "before my brain is too far gone. I know Haz. I know." He whispered, "I want that too."  
The night was then spent kissing, cuddling, crying and kissing some more. They clung to one another as though they were each others' oxygen. The lovers could hardly wait to be married.


	16. Chapter 16

May 13 2018  
Louis hadn't spoken a single word since the day Lottie had come over. He could make sounds and that was the extent of it.   
It was midmorning, and Harry was currently in bed with Louis as Louis weakly held onto Bobo, he didn't even recognize the toy as an animal anymore, it was just an object that felt soft and nice, so he liked holding it, though he couldn't hold onto it well. His motor skills were pretty much gone. They were watching Netflix on Harry's laptop, though most of it was lost on Louis. He missed their life together, he missed the way Louis used to be. He even missed who Louis was two months ago. Sure, he'd been confused, but he could speak a little, and was more mobile. Harry missed that.   
"I've gotta take a pee love." Harry murmured, kissing Louis' head. "I'll be right back" He got up, and Louis just watched, not having any understanding of what was going on.   
Harry went to the bathroom as quickly as he could but apparently not quick enough. He nearly had a heart attack when he heard a thud come from the bedroom. "Shit." He muttered, rushing back to the bedroom. "Louis!" He called out, not seeing him on the bed. He went around, and saw him curled up on the floor. The poor man had tried to get out of bed, but had forgotten how to stand so he'd immediately fallen. Harry though, thought he'd merely fallen out of bed. "You're alright babe, it's alright." Harry said softly, his heart breaking when he saw Louis was in tears.   
Louis knew something was wrong with him. He knew he was broken. He didn't understand why, how, or even what was wrong with him. But, there was some sort of awareness in him that told his body he wasn't okay.   
Harry pulled him into his arms, rocking him back and forth, just trying to soothe him as he cried. "I'm so sorry lou, so sorry." Harry whispered, kissing his hair again and again.   
The only thing Harry hated more than seeing Louis cry, was knowing there was nothing he could do to fix it.   
A long while later, Louis had calmed down, and Harry was relieved. "How about a nice warm bath hmm?" He suggested slowly, not knowing if Louis understood.   
He helped him up, and held him steady as he always did, and he choked back his tears as he watched Louis' legs wobble and try to move, before the man just fell back into Harry. "Oh no... Louis" Harry knew what that meant, and he desperately tried again to get Louis to walk, but it only resulted in the same outcome.   
Completely ditching the bath idea Harry sunk to the floor, Louis still in his arms, and broke down into sobs. The past ten years he'd witnessed the love of his life essentially revert back to an infant like state. Memory is a huge part of a person, and Louis' had been ripped away before Harry's eyes. First his short term memories, then his long term memories, then the memories of his loved ones. Next was his day to day ability to think, his ability to speak, his ability to eat on his own. Then his muscle memory in his fingers and hands, and now... now he couldn't even walk. Harry knew what was next, and he wouldn't even think of it. He couldn't.   
"Louis...don't do this to me... you can't do this to me" He sobbed, holding his husband as close as he possibly could. "I need you... I need you more than I need air baby." He put a hand on Louis' cheek, looking into his eyes. "You're my everything. The love of my life."   
Louis looked at him with his sad, empty hollow eyes. He couldn't comprehend a single word Harry had said, but he could sense something was up. Slowly, he did his best to lean his head on Harry's chest, which of course brought Harry to more tears at how sweet he was.   
"This isn't fair Louis. This isn't fair. If the true Louis, who is stuck behind this awful disease could only see you now..." Harry choked out, "his heart would be broken. Just like mine."   
Harry continued to just ramble on for a while, needing to let all his feelings and thoughts out, even if Louis didn't understand.   
Louis ended up falling asleep in the middle of one of Harry's sentences, which only solidified the reality that he didn't comprehend any of it.   
With a heavy heart, Harry kissed his sleeping husband on the forehead and carried him up to bed again to let him nap a bit.   
As Louis slept, Harry picked up Bobo off the floor, and noticed a box he'd never seen under the bed as he did. Curiously, he reached under the bed to grab it, wondering what could be.   
Opening the box, he found it to be full of labelled flash drives. "Oh Louis..." he whispered, having a slight idea what this could be. There were several different ones, but the one that stood out to him at that moment was one that read, in Louis' scribbly handwriting: "Watch When You're Feeling Sad.:)" He sniffled and climbed back into bed, opening up his laptop and plugging it in.   
Soon, a bright eyed looking Louis popped up onto the screen.   
"Hey hazzie! Having a bad day?" He asked, with the biggest of smiles.   
Harry teared up, and nodded, even though of course, a video couldn't respond.  
"Well cheer up!" Louis said into the camera with an adorable giggle. "Bet you'll remember where I am" he said, briefly turning the camera to show his location. He was on the balcony of the Ritz, the hotel they'd stayed in years ago when Harry had taken him to the concert.   
"London... The Ritz" Harry whispered as the memories of the trip played through his mind.   
"I probably don't remember it, but do me a favor and when the video is over, remind me of this trip?" Louis chirped, making Harry's heart ache as he looked at the very different Louis who was asleep beside him.   
"Anyway, I'm supposed to be cheering you up aren't I?" Louis said with a laugh. "I've never been too good at that mushy gushy stuff but I guess I can try... you know this trip meant so much to me Harry. I hope you're looking back on this trip with good memories, be it sure as hell was an amazing holiday. And the sex wasn't too bad either" He smirked. Harry chuckled quietly, wiping his eyes as he smiled, remembering that night clearly. Louis was right about that, it was wonderful. "I do have to tell you though, it's four am and you're snoring like a lawnmower." He rolled his eyes, "hence why I'm awake and making this video. You should be grateful I still love someone who snores like that!"   
Harry chuckled again, love for Louis completely filling his heart. He hadn't heard his sweet voice in ages, and this was exactly what he needed.   
"Anyway..." Louis let out a sigh, "Stay positive yeah? The sun goes down, sure, then it comes back up. Whatever hard thing you're dealing with right now, probably related to me and I'm sorry for that, but just know it'll get better again. I know you'll get through this Harry, even if I don't. All I ask, is please, please, don't let go. I need you. Remember, Harry Styles, you're always in my heart. Yours sincerely, Louis." He said, blowing a kiss to the camera and just like that, the screen went black again.   
Harry was so overwhelmed with emotion he hardly knew what to do, so he just pulled the sleeping Louis into his arms and whispered, "Don't worry Louis, I won't let go."


	17. Chapter 17

June 7th 2018  
Lottie looked down at her phone nervously. Was she ready to do this? She'd been expecting for nearly two months and hadn't spoken a word to Niall since the night it'd all happened. "Okay Lottie, you just have to do it" She whispered to herself, before squeezing her eyes tightly shut and sending the message.< Lottie: Niall we need to talk> Was all it read. With a sigh she leaned back, not expecting the response to come as quick as it did. 

All she could think was, shit. This was really happening.  
********************************************************  
Harry drove up into the parking lot, turned off the car and leaned over to kiss Louis' cheek, before unbuckling his own seat belt. "I'll be right there boo, hold on." He said softly, going around to the boot, and pulling Louis' wheelchair out. He set it up and then wheeled it to the passenger side where Louis was sitting, making little hum-like noises every few seconds as if he were trying to communicate.   
"Alright babe, c'mere." Harry said gently undoing Louis' seat belt and picking him up with ease. As he was forgetting how to eat, he'd only manage small amounts so he'd been losing a lot of weight recently. Harry kissed the top of his head before carefully placing him in the chair. Louis looked around absently as Harry wheeled him toward the glass doors the restaurant.   
For the past few years, all Louis would wear was sweats. That's all the man ever wanted to wear, and he'd have a fit if Harry dressed him in something else. Sweats were soft, easy, and for Louis they were oh so comfortable. Of course that was just fine with Harry, and he had a wide variety for Louis to wear. After all who was he to refuse the suffering man some comfort?   
Walking inside, Harry felt a bit out of place looking around at all the formally dressed people, sipping at red wine at chandelier lit tables. Harry had worn sweats too, because he knew that if Louis was in the right frame of mind, he wouldn't want to be the only one underdressed.   
The server gave them a strange look, but was polite nonetheless. "Table for two?" He asked.   
Harry nodded, "Please. Thank you."   
It wasn't until they had been seated that the server recognized the pair. "Harry?" He raised his eyebrows.   
"Umm... yeah... how do you-" Harry cut himself off as recognition of this man flooded through his mind. "Luke." He said flatly, remembering him from high school.  
"Yes, oh my goodness how are you? And Louis?" He smiled at the two, wanting to make small talk.   
Harry could see he'd matured since their high school days but that didn't mean he wanted to talk to him. This was one of the people who had bullied his sweet lover for something that was entirely out of his control. "We're fine thanks. Could we get two waters to start please?" He asked wanting to get him away as quickly as possible.   
"Of course!" He said, not so subtly staring at Louis for a moment, before walking away.   
Harry sighed and rolled his eyes. "He's still an arsehole in my eyes." He muttered to Louis who just looked at him with a smile. Sometimes, for reasons that Harry didn't know, Louis would be in these happy moods where he would just be so content and smiley. Harry loved it.   
Harry chuckled softly, and kissed Louis' lips lightly, before pulling out a menu. "What looks good?" He asked, trying to make things feel normal even though that was far from the case. "I was thinking the Lobster Bisque looked nice, or the Salmon Dish." He continued, and Louis smiled wider. He loved the sound of Harry's voice, it felt like home when he had no idea where he was or what was happening, Harry's voice was always there.   
Luke returned with their waters and took their orders, and Harry gave him the death glare the entire time.   
"How about some water?" Harry asked Louis once Luke was gone. He put a straw in the glass and held it up to Louis' lips, and Louis just sat there blankly.   
"Like this." Harry said slowly, making sure Louis was watching, then bringing his own straw up to his lips, wrapping them around it and taking a sip.   
Louis got his lips around his straw and it took about a minute, but eventually he managed a few sips. Then, thinking he was about to grab the glass, he put his hand up, knocking the glass out of Harry's hand and spilling the water all down himself. Harry didn't expect what came next at all.   
Louis made the most heartbreaking sound and tears started pouring down his cheeks like little rivers. The thing that people didn't realize, not even Harry, was that Louis was aware something was wrong with him, even though he didn't know what it was. He knew something wasn't right. And sometimes, all it took was some spilled water for him to break down like this.   
"Hey shhhh" Harry soothed, getting some napkins and cleaning him up. "It's alright, it's alright" He said gently, kissing Louis' forehead. After getting him as dry as possible, Harry wrapped his arms around him, holding him in a soft hug. "You're okay baby. Just some spilled water."   
It wasn't just some spilled water though.  
Louis forgot moments later that he'd even been upset at all, and dinner went as smoothly as it could from there. Harry managed to feed Louis about half of his meal before the man grew tired, and stopped responding to the bites Harry was trying to give him.   
On the way out of the restaurant Harry couldn't help but overhear Luke talking to one of the other servers, who he assumed must've been someone else they'd been in high school with.   
"You should've seen him!" Luke was laughing, "If you thought he was retarded then, you should see him now! He wouldn't say a word, and you could see a nappy sticking up through his sweatpants. Disgusting. Dunno how Harry would still wanna date someone like that, it's like-"   
"ENOUGH!" Harry shouted, making it known that he could hear their conversation. "You've been cruel enough already, how DARE you talk behind his back like that?! He has an illness! A terminal one, and it's not his fault okay?!"   
The restaurant went silent at Harry's outburst, all except Louis who was shaking and grunting. He was terrified. Already having no idea what was happening around him was scary enough, but when yelling was included, his brain just didn't know how to handle it.   
Noticing Louis' fear, Harry raised his middle finger toward Luke and wheeled Louis out of the restaurant. "Once an asshole always an asshole." He muttered under his breath.  
He knelt in front of Louis' wheelchair once they were outside, taking his shaking hands and looking into his hollow eyes. "I'm so sorry Louis. You're safe." He said slowly, "It's alright now. You're safe."   
Louis though, had already forgotten what'd happened.   
Louis fell asleep on the way home, and as Harry carried him inside he pressed a quick, chaste kiss to his lips.   
He had to wake him to get him ready for bed, and he felt so guilty as Louis looked exhausted.  
He was always exhausted now it seemed.   
"Sorry today didn't go as planned." Harry said quietly as he brushed Louis' teeth and helped him to spit and rinse.  
"I really wanted it to be nice." He murmured as he shaved the smaller man's light scruff.   
"I hope you at least enjoyed it some, it was nice seeing your smile earlier." He continued as he changed Louis into fresh pajamas.  
"It's been a beautiful eight years of marriage." He said, laying Louis softly on their bed.  
"Happy anniversary sweetheart." He whispered, climbing in beside him. "I love you."


	18. Chapter 18

May 31st 2010  
"How do I look mum?" Louis asked smiling widely. Clad in his long black cap and gown, Jay thought her son looked amazing.   
"You look wonderful" She got tears in her eyes, so proud of him. "You're all grown up now."   
Louis giggled and hugged his mum. "You'll always be my son though, you know that right?" She said, hugging him back tightly.  
He rolled his eyes, "I know mum. I know." He said with a wide smile as he pulled away from the hug.   
Louis didn't know, but it'd taken a lot of work for her to get the school to let him walk at his high school graduation. Because he academically wasn't technically graduating, the school had initially declined. But Jay had fought hard for her son, wanting him to have the most normal experience possible and graduate with his friends.   
The school eventually agreed to her relentless requests, under the condition that he have an escort. Louis had reached stage three just over a month prior, and had picked up the habit of mindless wandering, which was what concerned the school. They didn't want him to just start walking around during the graduation ceremony. And while Jay so much wanted to protest and say her son didn't need am escort, she couldn't, because she knew he did.   
*************  
"I love you mum, but I don't need a bloody escort mum, I already stand out enough." Louis muttered as they walked into the graduation hall, where students were finding their assigned seats, not one of them had their mother at their side and Louis was humiliated.  
"Louis," She was looking down the rows of seats trying to find their spot as she spoke, "I'm sorry, I know you don't want me to escort you but-" She looked up only to realize he'd already started wandering away through the crowd of people.   
And that, was the exact reason he needed an escort.   
She quickly went after him, and put her hand on his back. "Louis..." She said softly, and his eyes filled with realization the moment he turned his head to face her.   
"I did it again, didn't I?" He said softly, his cheeks turning bright red.   
"Yeah, I'm afraid so honey." She rubbed his back, and started guiding him toward where she'd finally found their seats.   
As much as he hated it, in his heart, he knew that really, he did need her to escort him.   
With an annoyed huff, he took his seat next to his mum, and folded his arms across his chest, looking down at his lap.   
"Err excuse me?" Louis heard a familiar voice and looked up to find Harry standing in front of his mum. "Sorry but I'm afraid you're in my seat."  
Jay looked up as well, "Wait... what?" She asked. "Aren't you supposed to be a few rows up? I need to be with Louis to escort him..."  
Harry smiled, "Wellllll he has a new escort."  
Louis' eyes lit up, "Wait? Really? You're escorting me?" He was so excited for a moment, but then shook his head. "No, no you deserve to walk when they call your name. I can't take that away from you."   
"You won't be taking that away. I may have gotten them to change up the order so that our names our next to each other" Harry smirked, "That way we can walk together."  
"What? How'd you do that?" Jay asked, surprised.   
"A charming smile goes a long way" Harry said, showing off his smolder with a chuckle.   
"Hazzie you're the best!" Louis got up and wrapped his arms around him tightly.   
Harry hugged him back, kissing the top of the tiny boy's head. "Anything for you boo."   
"Really Harry, thank you so much. This means the world to Louis." Jay whispered, hugging him next. "He's been telling me all morning that he didn't want to stand out, and this, this is exactly what he needed."   
Harry smiled, "I wanted to walk with him anyway. It's a win-win."   
Jay then squeezed Louis' hand. "I'll be in the audience then I suppose. I'll meet you afterwards."  
Louis nodded, "Okay mum, see you!" His mood was lifted so much knowing that Harry was walking with him instead of his mum.   
"I can't believe we're finally done with High School. Primary school feels like just yesterday." Harry said, kind of in awe at the idea of being an adult.   
Though adulthood for Louis, would be very different.   
"Yeah, it's crazy!" Louis agreed, nodding. He opened his mouth to say something else, but completely forgot what he was going to say so he closed it again.   
Harry smiled sadly, as that seemed to happen a lot lately. Louis had also been forgetting several words.   
"I also can't believe that there's only one more week until we're married" Harry said with a soft smile, knowing he'd have to remind Louis of that.   
"We're getting married?" Louis' eyes widened and sparkled with joy.   
"Yeah, next week." Harry confirmed, taking Louis' hand and showing him the ring.   
"Wow..." Louis whispered, "I dunno how I forgot about that, but Haz I'm so excited. We're gonna be husbands."   
Harry kissed his hand, "Yeah, we are."   
Louis then gushed about how excited he was, and they talked about decorations and their future together. It was the same conversation as always. Every single day since the initial engagement Harry would remind Louis of the wedding, and they'd plan it all out. Louis would be so ready and so excited, until the next day when he'd need to be reminded again.   
The ceremony began after a quarter of an hour, and both boys grew bored not even halfway through the speech. "I dunno if I can sit through an hour of this" Harry muttered, turning to look at Louis who randomly stood up.  
Harry took his hand, "Hey, let's sit down yeah?" He coaxed, getting Louis to sit back down, knowing he was trying to get up and wander.   
Louis tried to get up again a few times before 'snapping out of it' and sitting down, his cheeks bright red as they typically were when that happened. "Sorry" He whispered, "Can't help it."   
Harry kissed his cheek, "I know love. It's alright."   
After a long hour of speeches, and another half hour of names being called, it was nearing Harry and Louis' turn to be called.   
Harry guided Louis to the designated waiting area, before explaining what he needed to know. "Okay love, they will call my name first." He explained, "I'll walk across the stage, and they will hand me a diploma. They'll call your name next, and you follow exactly what I do okay? I'll be waiting on the other side of the stage."   
Louis nodded, it seemed simple enough.   
"Harry Edward Styles. Graduate." The announcer read, and Louis beamed as he watched Harry get his diploma and walk across the stage.   
"Louis William Tomlinson. Participatory student." The announcer read next, and Louis' heart sank a little, as it reminded him that really, he wasn't graduating. He walked up, got his participatory certificate, and froze. For a moment he couldn't remember what he was supposed to do. Quickly, Harry came back on the stage and guided him the rest of the way.   
"I messed up Harry! I tried to walk across a stage and I couldn't even do that." Louis sighed in aggravation. "They didn't call me a graduate, and it just... it threw my brain off." He shook his head, completely humiliated.   
"Louis, you did great." Harry assured him, "And hey at least you didn't trip like Niall did!" He reminded him.   
Louis burst into giggles, "Niall tripped?"   
Harry nodded, "Yeah, he fell face first." He reminded him.   
Louis started laughing even harder, completely forgetting his own embarrassment. "Only Niall." He shook his head.   
And, with all his humiliation forgotten, Louis was able to have a fantastic graduation day.


	19. Chapter 19

June 8th 2018  
Lottie twisted the rings on her fingers, biting her glossy lips while sitting at the empty table. An untouched, decaf peach tea sat in front of her as she waited. How was she supposed to do this?   
Moments later, a familiar Irish man sauntered into the café, looking attractive as ever, which, only added to her nerves. He ordered a coffee, before coming toward her.   
"Niall" She said quietly, and a bit awkwardly. She had gained a little weight, and had a small bump, but it was hidden by the table.   
"Hi Lottie" he said, scratching his neck before sitting down across from her. "What did you uh, wanna talk about?" He really hoped she wasn't trying to date him, because, yes he did find her attractive, but he was in love with Shawn. He felt absolutely horrible for cheating on him, and terrible for leading Lottie on the way he had, and he'd hoped they'd just forget it ever happened. But apparently that wasn't going to happen.   
"I..." Lottie took a sip of her drink, "I've got news."   
"News?" Niall frowned, having an idea of where this was going but hoping he was wrong. "What news?"   
"Well..." She sighed heavily, "I'm pregnant, and it's yours."   
Niall's face paled. "Are you... are you serious? You're really pregnant?"  
She nodded silently, a hand rested on her stomach as she reached into her purse and slid an ultrasound photo across the table to Niall. "I'm nearly three months along."   
"Holy shit." Was all Niall could say at first, because this, this complicated things.   
"I'm sorry Niall, I'm so sorry." Lottie said, tearing up and thinking he was mad.  
Seeing the distress on her face, and hearing the sad tone to her voice Niall softened. "Don't be sorry. It's both our fault." He said sympathetically, reaching out and putting his hand on top of hers.   
"I know... but... like now Shawn's gonna find out what happened, and you're going to have a baby in your life.... well that's if you want him or her in your life" She paused, as she hadn't even asked that.   
"Of course I do." Niall said affirmatively. "Sure, I wasn't expecting this, but that's my child inside you. Of course I want them to be a part of my life."   
Lottie smiled tearfully, "I'm glad, they deserve a father." She said softly. "But how on earth are we going to do this?"  
"Well one of us could have weekdays and the other could have weekends, and we could alternate holidays." Niall suggested, "Plenty of people do it."   
Lottie sighed, and her heart hurt a little. That hadn't been the answer she was hoping for, but who was she kidding? Of course Niall wouldn't want to make things work between them when he was in the perfect relationship with Shawn. "Yeah, okay." She replied.   
"Well, lets keep in touch. I'd like to come to appointments and stuff if you're okay with that?" Niall asked, not wanting to overstep his bounds.  
"Oh, yeah of course." Lottie smiled, it not reaching her eyes. "It's your baby too."   
"Yeah, it is." Niall whispered, the information still so new to him. "Are you um, are you showing yet?" He asked, mentally face palming at how awkward he sounded.   
"I... yeah, a little." Lottie stood up, revealing her little bump.   
"Wow" was all Niall could say, he was completely in shock. "Well, I uh.. I guess I better get going. I have a lot of explaining and making up to do with Shawn" He chuckled.   
"Yeah.... see you later Niall." Lottie said, and once he'd left the café she sighed, resting her hands on her stomach. Even with a baby inside her, and Niall being as supportive as one could be in his situation, she'd still never felt more alone.   
********************  
"I told Niall." Lottie told Harry as she sat with him and Louis at their home. Louis was curled up on Harry's lap, completely silent and not looking too good. Lottie held his hand over her stomach as she spoke to them.   
"Yeah?" Harry bit his lip, "how'd he respond?"   
"Not terrible, not great either." She sighed, "He seemed shocked. He's gonna be part of their life though, and he's willing to help with anything."   
"Well, what's the problem then? That's great" Harry said, as he pressed a kiss to the top of Louis' head.   
"The problem is I don't think I can go my whole life watching him with Shawn. I've been in love with him for years Harry." She admitted.   
"Oh Lotts...." Harry sighed sympathetically. "Love is just so painful isn't it?" Harry of all people would know.  
"You got that right." She muttered, and then looked at her sweet brother. "He's lost a lot of weight." She noticed, "How's he doing?"   
Harry shook his head, "Not good. He's only eating half portions because it's getting too hard, and he's so so quiet."   
Lottie kissed her older brother's forehead. "Not much to say huh lou?" She said sadly, "That's okay. You can always listen."   
"I took him out for our anniversary last night, huh boo?" Harry said slowly, even though he knew Louis wouldn't remember. "It was a bit rough, we saw someone from high school."  
"Oh? What happened?" Lottie asked.  
Harry carded a hand through his hair, "He said some bad stuff about Lou, I'd rather not repeat it."   
She nodded understandingly. "I don't get why people have to judge him so much. None of this is his fault."   
"I know... I don't get it either." Harry shook his head, "It is what it is I guess."   
Louis smiled at those words, they made no sense to him, maybe it was even just Harry's voice, but whatever it was, made him smile.   
"Aw Lou..." Lottie got tears in her eyes, every time he smiled it was just so sweet and precious. "Don't you ever stop smiling."   
She also noticed, that Louis couldn't keep his eyes off of her stomach and it made her smile more. "Baby." She told him, just as she did every time she saw him as of late.  
He made a small hum, and no one really knew if he understood or not. But that's just how it was now, and they were just glad he was around.   
*********************  
It was one of the worst night's of Harry's life.   
He awoke to quiet cries coming from the man beside him. "Boo... hey calm down it's alright. It's alright." He whispered, having no idea what was going on or how to fix it. Louis cried a lot lately, hardly having any capabilities was really upsetting to him, and sometimes he'd just cry.  
Poor Louis just kept crying though, having no other way to express his emotion.   
Louis cried and cried, not even really understanding why. He was upset and he just wanted to be happy, and he couldn't.  
After a solid hour or so, Harry was in tears himself. "Baby..." He looked into Louis' eyes, and even though they made eye contact, Louis' eyes weren't really there. He saw Harry, but there was no recognition. No light in his eyes.   
And for Harry, that hurt.  
As a last resort Harry tried the last thing he could think of.   
"You are my sunshine.   
My only sunshine.  
You make me happy,   
When skies are grey.  
You'll never know dear,   
How much I love you.   
Please don't take my sunshine away. "  
He sang the song a couple of times, until Louis' tears stopped and he was able to go back to sleep.   
"Please don't take my sunshine away." He repeated the last line, kissing the top of Louis' head.   
Louis slept calmly, but Harry? He didn't sleep at all that night.


	20. Chapter 20

July 6th 2018  
It was errands day. A day that had become quite hard for Harry and quite exhausting for Louis, but had to happen nonetheless. They were going to get some groceries, and go to the car wash, but very first Harry was taking Louis to get some new clothes. He'd become too small for everything he owned, and all of his sweats hung very loosely on his small frame. He was down to roughly 43 kilos (95 pounds.)   
Wheeling Louis into the clothing shop, his heart was saddened at the lack of response Louis had to the new surroundings. Usually his eyes lit up with curiosity any time they went somewhere, but today his eyes were just empty as he stared straight ahead, confused, lost, and hardly there at all.   
Harry bent over and pressed a kiss to the top of his head, and wheeled him over to the racks of sweatpants and sweatshirts. "okay boo, they've got red, yellow, black, white, blue, and green" he listed as if Louis understood.   
He held up the green pair for Louis to see, as usually Louis reacted to the color green. "Green baby.." he said softly, trying to get a reaction.   
But Louis, completely confused, just stared back him blankly.   
"We'll do the green then" Harry whispered, trying not to let it hurt him too much. He also grabbed a blue pair, a black one and a white one, hanging them on the back of Louis' wheelchair. "Alright, lets try these on." Harry said, looking around for an attendant.   
Quickly, an employee, clad in a simple button down shirt and black jeans approached them. "Hi, were you needing any assistance?" He smiled, licking his lips a little. Louis looked up at the man and frowned, it was the first expression he'd made all day.   
Harry didn't notice Louis' frown however, as he was focused on getting a room to help him try things on. "Yeah, could we get a fitting room? Preferably a bigger one?"   
"Oh sure of course" The man smiled, "I'm Nick by the way." He held his hand out for Harry to shake, which Harry thought was a bit odd for a store employee, but he smiled and shook it anyway, as Nick seemed pretty nice.   
"I'm Harry" Harry replied, then gestured to Louis "And this is Louis. He's my husband."   
Nick smiled down at Louis insincerely, immediately feeling jealous , as he found Harry quite attractive. He'd originally assumed Harry was a caretaker or something. "I see.... well hello Louis" He reached out his hand to Louis.   
Louis furrowed his eyebrows, and frowned deeper, then turned his head away. He didn't like this Nick. Louis had always been a good judge of character, and while he didn't really understand why he didn't like him, he knew that he didn't.   
Harry still couldn't see the frown on his husband's face, and thought he was just looking around and hadn't understood. "He has Alzheimer's" Harry explained quietly, "He wasn't trying to be rude or anything, he just doesn't really understand."   
"Oh well that's awful. I'm so sorry." Nick frowned, putting a hand on Harry's shoulder. "My aunt got that, and it was just a horrible disease."   
Of course, Nick didn't really care about Louis, but if he wanted to get Harry to date him after Louis passing, he'd have to pretend.   
"It is awful. He's the love of my life, and I have to watch him slip away day by day" Harry whispered, with tears in his eyes.   
Nick rubbed at his shoulder a bit. "I can hardly imagine how awful that must be, how much time does he have left?" He asked.   
"I'm not sure... he's nearing the end though. You can tell by the way he's becoming unresponsive." Harry responded, keeping his tone hushed. Even though Louis couldn't understand what they were saying, Harry hated talking about him like he wasn't even there.   
Nick was about to respond when Louis let out a very angry sounding grunt.   
Harry immediately knelt down in front of him and rubbed his tiny thighs, looking at him with concern. "Hey... what's wrong?" He asked gently, even though he knew he wouldn't get a response.   
Although he didn't answer, Louis smiled at Harry. He liked Harry. Harry was calming, Harry was kind, and he was distantly familiar. He couldn't pinpoint just exactly who Harry was, but he felt safe with him, happy. He felt love for him.   
Louis' smile immediately turned back to a frown when Nick came and knelt beside Harry. "What's going on? Can I help?" He asked.   
Louis glared at him, and with all of the mental capacity he could muster, he weakly managed to put his hands out in front of him, his way of trying to make Nick go away.   
"Is it Nick baby?" Harry asked, realizing Louis didn't seem to like him. "There's nothing wrong with him, he's just here to help us." He assured, though Louis couldn't comprehend it.   
When Nick still didn't make any move to leave Louis started whining and getting very worked up and angry, which was so confusing to Harry.   
"I'm so sorry, I think we need to leave." Harry said, hoping Louis was alright. He had no idea why Louis was behaving the way he was and it broke his heart to see him so upset.   
"Oh, of course. Well, why don't you take the sweats? You can return them if they don't fit." Nick said.   
Harry nodded, "Thank you, truly, for all your help."   
"It's no trouble at all." Nick smiled, "Oh before you leave... would you be okay if I got your number? I'd like to know that Louis is okay and maybe the three of us could hang out sometime when he's in a better mood."   
Harry raised his eyebrows, a bit confused, and completely oblivious to what Nick's intentions really were. "oh um sure." He said, quickly putting it into Nick's phone, "See you later."  
"Bye Harry." Nick said, smirking once Harry had turned around and started wheeling a very distraught Louis away.   
Once Louis was out of the picture, Harry would be all his.   
**************  
Louis was much better for the rest of the day. He actually smiled a few times, and even giggled once when Harry had given him a few bites of ice cream.   
Currently, Harry was on the phone with Liam, while sitting on the sofa with Louis, some of Louis' old favorite songs played in the background, to help his mind a little, as Louis calmly sat with bobo in his lap. The sweet man tried so hard to pet the toy, which he truly believed was real due to his mental state, but it was so much of a struggle. He ended up just resting his hand on it and lifting it back up every few minutes, before resting it on the toy again.   
Harry had just explained to Liam what had happened with Louis at the clothing store, and was hoping to get some insight from him. "I don't know what would've caused him to act that way... maybe it was just an off moment. I really hope it doesn't mean he's getting worse or something" Harry rambled into the phone.   
"Harry," Liam sighed, "He's probably jealous."   
"What? How? I didn't show any feeling toward Nick, and he didn't show any to me either. He was just trying to help us." Harry said, completely baffled.   
"Yeah, but you know how protective Louis can be." Liam replied, causing Harry to tear up.   
"Do you really think that's what it was? Louis being protective or jealous?" Harry asked quietly.   
"It's what it sounds like to me. I'm not sure how, but I think that's what was happening, based on what you've told me."  
"Liam.... oh my gosh" Harry gasped, "That means he still cares about me, still loves me."   
"Well of course he does Haz, you know that." Liam replied softly.   
"I know... but he hasn't been able to show it... well until today." Harry said, "It's just nice to see that Louis is still in there ya know?"  
Liam smiled "I know. Take care Haz, talk to you later."   
"Okay, talk to you later Liam. Bye." Harry said, hanging up the phone before turning to his beautiful husband.   
"I love you so much" He told him, wrapping his arms around his small body and hugging him close. "So. Much. Thank you for caring about me."   
Louis let out a soft little hum as he snuggled into Harry's embrace. Nick was long forgotten in Louis' mind, and in this moment he was safe in his husband's arms.   
He was home.


	21. Chapter 21

June 7th 2010  
Louis yawned, stretching his limbs and climbing out of bed. Slipping on his favorite hoodie, well really it was Harry's hoodie, he sauntered down to the kitchen.  
"Morning mum" He greeted, walking into the kitchen. His sweater paw went up to his mouth as he covered a yawn.  
"Morning to you too, you little husband to be" She cooed. They'd talked about the wedding just the night before and she really hoped he remembered that it was happening.  
His eyebrows furrowed, "What?"  
She sighed and went over to her son, hugging him. "It's your wedding day sweetie."  
"What? No... it no." He frowned deeply looking down at his hand and seeing the ring that he'd never taken off. "No, I have to see Harry. Now." He said running up the stairs to change his clothes.  
"Louis, wait!" Jay called.  
"Mum, I'm going to see Harry, and that's final. I have to talk to him!" He argued before hurrying and changing into some decent clothes.  
Jay sighed, hoping this all went over well.  
****************  
"Babe you know it's bad luck to see each other before the wedding" Harry chuckled, opening the door.  
But Louis, standing there still in Harry's hoodie, but with a pair of jeans on, just shook his head. "There can't be a wedding." He mumbled, tears in his eyes as he looked down at his feet.  
Harry's heart sunk. It had already all been set up, it was a nautical theme with ships, ropes and anchors. The colors were blue and green. Family members were already travelling to come. But that what wasn't what upset Harry, what upset him was that Louis was trying to call off their forever together. "Louis.. why?" he asked, his voice hardly above a whisper.  
"Because Harry.... I want you to live your life. I don't want to hold you back. You deserve to see the world, meet new people, have exciting experiences." He said, finally looking up, his blue eyes meeting Harry's green ones. "I love you Harry, and that's why I can't marry you. You're all I want, so much, it's hurting." He whispered, "But it's for the best."  
Harry's eyes filled with tears as well. "Louis." He put his hand on Louis' cheek. "You aren't holding me back. "You're all I want too. If you don't marry me, you'll break my heart, not fix it."  
Louis was silent for a moment, "You're sure?" He asked insecurely, "Because I'm giving you the chance to leave."  
"I'm not leaving. I'm not letting go. I'm going to be there for you always Lou." Harry said sincerely. He needed Louis, just as much as Louis needed him.  
Louis sniffled and cuddled into him "I don't know what I did to deserve you Harry Styles, but I love you so bloody much."  
"I love you too babe. More than you'll ever realize." Harry said, holding him against his chest and kissing the top of his head. "Now, let's go get married."  
**********  
Louis and Harry each wore navy blue suits, Louis having a green bowtie and green suspenders, and Harry wearing a green tie. Louis also had a blue and green flower crown, courtesy of Lottie, because according to her, Louis was "the bride."  
Louis walked down the aisle, his arm linked with his mum. "I'm so proud of you my sweet boy" she whispered in his ear, and as they reached the alter she handed him the vows he'd written a while back. He'd written them a few days after Harry proposed, as he'd been a little nervous of forgetting to do it. "Here's your vows lou." she whispered as she handed them to him. He smiled at her gratefully, kissing her cheek, before stepping up to the alter across from Harry.  
"You look stunning my love." Harry murmured, taking his hands and looking into his eyes.  
Louis blushed, a small smile on his face. "You look amazing too Haz." He said softly.  
The officiator said a few words before looking up from his little book. "Do you have your vows?" he asked, to which both boys nodded.  
Louis was first. He unfolded his little paper with shaking hands. "Wow, its really happening isn't it?" He said quietly, "We're getting married. Harry, thank you for marrying me. I promise to love you, and be there for you always. Even when-" Louis paused, his mind completely shutting down for a moment as blanked. The hand with his paper in it slowly lowered to his side, and he looked around nervously. He had no clue what was happening as he looked from side to side, biting his lip. His gaze finally landed on Harry, and his blue eyes pleaded for help.  
"W-what's happening?" He asked quietly, completely confused.  
Harry took his hand again, kissing it. "Our wedding baby. It's our wedding." He explained softly, everyone in the audience watching the sad, yet sweet moment.  
"We're getting married?" Louis' eyes lit up with happiness.  
"Yeah baby, we are." Harry said sweetly, as Louis smiled up at him, full of joy.  
"Wow... I uh, I should be more prepared.. I don't have any vows, or anything.. I-" Louis stuttered, starting to feel embarrassed and guilty.  
Gently, Harry took Louis' wrist, and lifted it up, showing Louis that he was actually holding the vows in his hand. "Look Lou, here's your vows. You were right here actually." Harry said, pointing to where Louis had left off.  
"oh" Louis whispered, looking at the vows. He didn't remember saying the first part, but continued off right where Harry had told him to. "Even when I'm lost, or confused, remember this. I love you forever and always Harry. You're the anchor to my rope, the one who keeps me grounded. You're my home."  
Harry smiled widely, wiping his eyes at Louis' simple yet beautiful vows. He then pulled out his own. "Louis William Tomlinson, from the day we first met in kindergarten you said we'd be a family together, you were so confident of that, and look at us now, getting married. Becoming out own little family." Harry sniffled and cleared his throat before continuing, "Louis I vow to always protect you, to watch over you and care for you. No matter what comes our way, I promise to be there. Things won't always be perfect, and it'll be hard when we argue. We're both stubborn I know." Harry said, earning a small giggle from the sweet boy in front of him, "but oh, sweet Louis, whatever happens, wherever we go, you'll be my home."  
Louis wiped at his eyes as tears rapidly started to fall. Their vows were different but yet so similar, and it just proved how strong their bond was.  
Next was the rings, Harry slipped the small wedding ring onto Louis' dainty finger, the ring was silver, with the infinity symbol on it. Simple, but beautiful. Harry's ring had a thick band, with a blue gem in it, because of course it had to be blue.  
The officiator smiled as he watched the pair put the rings on each other, when they finished he spoke again. "You may now kiss your husband." He said to them.  
And they did.


	22. Chapter 22

August 5th 2018  
Harry pulled out the box of flash drives from under his bed, sniffling as he dug through them. He grabbed one that read "Watch When You're Scared <3 (ps: please don't be :))" in Louis' handwriting. He climbed back onto his bed, before he shakily put it into his laptop, clicking on the file and watching as the video pulled up on his screen.   
"Hazza! Hi!" Louis waved to the camera. It looked like this had been filmed in his bedroom back when he was about 16. "You're scared huh?"   
Harry nodded at the screen. He wasn't just scared, he was terrified.   
"I am too to be honest." Louis bit his lip, "Harry my brain is playing hide and seek... only one day, I won't find it." He admitted.   
Harry swallowed the lump in his throat. That day had already come.   
"But uh, I guess I'm not helping by saying that" He giggled.   
"Damn right you're not you cheeky little thing" Harry muttered under his breath.   
"What I wanted to say is, Harry please don't be scared." Louis said to the camera with the sweetest of smiles. "Because, really I've been thinking about this a lot lately. What's the point in being scared? Whatever is gonna happen, will happen. If you're scared or not scared, I still have Alzheimer's. So why not just enjoy the time we have together instead of living in constant sadness and fear?"   
"It's not that simple lou, I wish it was." Harry murmured, wiping at his eyes.   
"I know, I know, easier said than done" Louis continued as if he'd read Harry's mind, "But for me, just try to live without fear? I don't want your life to be miserable Harry."  
Harry wouldn't consider his life miserable, the love of his life was still alive and really that was all he could ask for. But, he wouldn't necessarily call his life 'good' or 'happy' either. Louis' life though? Harry was pretty sure that it was miserable.   
"You don't deserve a miserable life" Louis said with a smile.   
"You don't either." Harry whispered.   
"Please look for the positives yeah? Don't let fear rule your life, that'll only make everything worse." Louis said sweetly, "I'm sure this shitty video wasn't much help, but uh... I tried." He giggled into his dainty hand, making Harry's heart melt.   
"I love you Harry Styles, byyyye!" He blew a kiss at the camera, and the video ended.   
"Louis that was supposed to help me..." He cried looking at the Louis who was laying asleep in bed beside him. He was taking about two naps a day now. "Not make me cry harder." Even after the video, Harry was still scared of course.   
Harry kissed his forehead, and went off to the kitchen to make him some dinner. He didn't have to worry about him wandering anymore, as he could no longer walk.   
Harry prepared a bowl of plain chicken broth, because his sweet husband could no longer remember how to chew, and brought it back up to the bedroom. "Sweetheart..." Harry kissed his head, lightly shaking his shoulder, "I've got some dinner for you."   
It took quite a bit of coaxing, but soon Louis' hollow eyes fluttered open. "Here, let's sit up." Harry said, preparing to help him sit up. Usually louis could do it with Harry's hand on his back for support.   
Today was different though. Louis couldn't remember how to sit himself up.   
When he remained completely still, Harry frowned. "Louis, come on, you know how." He encouraged desperately, putting his hand beneath Louis' back as he laid there, which usually was enough to get him to sit up, but not this time.   
Taking a deep breath to compose himself, Harry sat Louis up himself, his body felt a bit like a rag doll. Carefully Harry propped him up against some pillows for balance. "Oh Louis..." He whispered, pressing a soft, chaste kiss to his chapped lips, making a mental note to put some chapstick on him after feeding him.   
Louis' eyes moved slowly as he looked around the room, trying to make sense of it all.   
"I made you some broth baby" Harry said sweetly, setting the bowl on the nightstand and waiting for Louis to look at him. When he finally did, Harry scooped up a spoonful of broth and brought it up to Louis' mouth, using his other hand to gently open it up as Louis couldn't on his own. "There we go," he said calmly, helping louis close his mouth, and tilt his head a bit to swallow.   
It was a long process, but eventually Louis finished the broth, Harry was surprised he'd eaten as much as he did, usually he'd only eat about half that. "Well done Lou" Harry kissed his head, and helped him sip some water, before setting the water and empty bowl aside. "You must've been hungry."   
Of course Louis didn't reply, he couldn't. But he did however let out a burp, the noise and surprise of it scaring himself, his body jerked a little, startled, and his eyes welled up with tears.  
Harry held his hand and looked at him sadly, "It's alright honey. Just a little full it seems." He murmured to Louis' non-understanding ears, using his other hand to wipe up Louis' chin.   
Louis just sat there, unable to remember how to move or do anything really. He couldn't form a thought, so he just looked around silently.   
It was too silent, so Harry pulled out his phone texting Nick. They'd been talking a bit, and hung out twice , Harry seeing him only as a friend. Both times they'd hung out Louis had been fine with it, or so Harry thought.   
Really though, Louis had just mentally declined too much to feel jealous anymore. He didn't understand a thing that was happening.   
****************  
Nick arrived a bit later, with 'sympathy' flowers for Harry. "How's Louis?" He asked as Harry led him up to the bedroom where Louis was most of the time now.   
"Not good." Harry shook his head "He couldn't sit up today. I haven't seen his smile in ages... He can't hardly move at all."   
They walked in to see Louis silently laying on the bed, his eyes looking about with no light, no curiosity, nothing. When he sensed movement, his eyes flicked over toward them, fixing his gaze on the two.   
"Oh Harry... I'm so sorry." Nick said, sounding sympathetic. "He really doesn't look well."  
"He's not." Was all Harry could say.   
The three of them watched TV for a while, Louis not really watching though. He couldn't comprehend it. His eyes just looked around the room, occasionally landing on the TV.  
Louis happened to be looking at Nick and Harry, just as Nick slid his hand into Harry's.  
Harry immediately yanked his hand away, "What the hell? What was that for?" He looked at Louis with a sympathetic face, even though he knew Louis didn't even realize Nick had just tried to hold his hand.   
"Harry." Nick said gently, putting his hand on Harry's thigh, Louis staring at them the whole time, not even realizing what Nick was trying to do. "I think you need to start letting go."  
Harry pushed Nick's hand off of his thigh. "What in the hell does that even mean Nick?" He asked, with anger in his eyes.   
"You know that this isn't the Louis you fell in love with" Nick said softly, looking over at Louis who was just sitting there, completely blank. "That Louis is gone, he's never coming back."   
Harry's eyes welled up with angry tears. "The Louis that I fell in love with is the Louis that I'm sitting next to right now. He may have a disease but he's still Louis. I still love him." He said firmly, taking Louis' hand and holding it up to his chest.   
"You're so naïve, my gosh." Nick shook his head, "You just need to let go. Louis already has."   
Harry was boiling with anger at this point. "Get. Out. Of. Our. House. Now." He stated through gritted teeth.   
When Nick didn't move Harry covered Louis' ears so he wouldn't scare him, then raised his voice, "What part of 'NOW' don't you understand you asshole?!"   
"You're making the wrong choice." Nick mumbled as he got up.   
Harry rolled his eyes, "You're the one making the wrong choice by not leaving. I'll call the cops if you don't get off my property."   
Nick scoffed, "Fine, I'll go. But don't come crying to me when your 'precious Louis' is dead and you need someone new to bang."   
"You're disgusting." Harry practically growled as Nick walked off. How could someone say such an awful thing?  
Carefully he removed his hands from Louis' ears. "I'm so sorry about him Louis. I really thought he was just trying to be our friend." He cried, feeling so guilty. "I love you so much. You Louis. Only you."   
Louis just sat there as Harry held him close, not moving a muscle, not making a sound. He truly had no idea what was even happening.   
Harry cuddled him for hours, apologizing over and over again, even though Louis was completely clueless. He would never forgive himself for thinking that having Nick around was okay. Never. He couldn't believe he'd been so blind to what Nick was doing, and now he'd wasted so much time with him around.   
"I'll make it up to you baby. Somehow." Harry said, though he didn't know what he would do, he had to come up with something. And fast.  
Harry knew the end was coming, quicker and quicker.   
Harry pulled away eventually, laying Louis down, turning off the television, and then laying with him. Pulling him close, with Louis' head rested upon his chest, Harry thought about how there was almost nothing left, as he lay there in the dark, knowing Louis was barely hanging on. He thought of the start, which lit up the dark reality-if only a bit. He was holding onto just a flicker of hope at this point.   
"Please don't leave." Harry whispered.


	23. Chapter 23

September 2nd 2018  
"Wow... a little boy." Lottie said, a hand resting on her bump as she and Niall walked out the doors of the clinic. She was almost 6 months along, but every time they'd gone to an ultrasound up until that point, the baby had been in the wrong position and they hadn't seen the gender. Finally, at nearly six months they'd found out.   
"Yeah... wow" Niall said with wide eyes, all of this becoming much more real to him now. He was going to have a song, soon. The baby was due December 26th.   
Lottie smiled a little, as they walked out to Niall's car. He opened the door for her, and she slid in, thanking him.   
The two had become more comfortable around each other, and would talk about anything and everything.   
"So, how're things going with Shawn?" She asked as Niall drove. He was driving them to Harry and Louis' house, as they were helping Harry with something he'd planned for Louis.   
"They're good. He's finally accepted that I'm going to have a child, and he's actually kind of excited to be part of his life." Niall said with a smile.   
"That's great then." Lottie said, trying to ignore the pang of sadness that shot through her heart.   
The rest of the drive was pretty quiet, as they both were thinking about seeing Louis. Neither one had seen him in a while, and they hoped he was doing alright.   
*********************  
Harry was sitting in his rocking chair, Louis cradled in his arms as he rocked him slowly and singing to him quietly, when he heard the knock at the door.   
Carefully, he got up, Louis still in his arms, and headed toward the door. "Hey guys" Harry greeted with a smile, "Come in," He opened the door wider to let them in.   
"Hi Harry, Hi Lou." Lottie said with a sad smile. Her sweet brother no longer recognized her, he didn't recognize anyone anymore, except sometimes Harry.   
"He's getting so skinny..." Niall whispered when he looked at Louis.   
"Yeah, he's barely eating." Harry explained, as Louis just lay in his arms, his head pressed against Harry's chest. "I can only get him to eat once a day, if that."   
"That's horrible.." Niall said sadly, looking at his best friends. He swallowed the lump forming in his throat, and closed his eyes for a second to compose himself. "So, the surprise? What did you need help with?"  
"I'll take you to the backyard and show you," Harry replied, "Lottie would you mind watching over Lou?"  
"I'd love to." Lottie smiled as Harry led her to the living room. He carefully lay Louis on the couch, "He can't sit up on his own, but he seems to like lying on the couch and looking around. He sometimes will even smile or make a soft hum if you hold his hand or stroke his hair." Harry explained.   
Lottie nodded, sitting down on the couch, with Louis' head in her lap. She combed her fingers through his hair, speaking to him softly about his nephew that was on the way.   
Harry smiled at the siblings, and headed outside with Niall. "So I was thinking of stringing some lights, and setting up a little romantic picnic. I've got a picnic blanket, rose petals, and candles." He listed, wanting to do something really special for his husband.   
"Wow, you really have prepared. Of course I'll help set it up" Niall smiled, "What's the occasion?"   
"I really messed up. There was this guy Nick, and I thought he was trying to be friends with Louis and I," Harry explained, "But it turned out he wanted me to abandon Louis and date him instead." he shook his head with disgust, "He said the most awful things about Louis, right in front of him too."   
"Oh Harry, that's awful. Don't blame yourself though, you weren't to know." Niall said as they started to string the lights, "I know Louis would forgive you if he knew."   
Harry nodded, tears glistening in his eyes. It seemed that he couldn't stop himself from crying lately. "Yeah, but I still feel so guilty ya know?"   
Niall nodded, "Yeah, I understand. I betrayed Shawn and it still eats me up inside every time I see his face."  
Harry stayed silent not knowing how to respond to Niall's comment, but luckily Niall kept talking.   
"Which brings me to my next point... I think I love Shawn but I also think I love Lottie." Niall said quietly. "And I don't know who to choose, but it's not fair of me to be doing this."   
Harry sighed as he finished up hanging the lights, "I guess you just have to decide which one you'd do anything for. The one you want to spend all your time with. The one whose happiness if your own happiness. The one whose needs come before your own. The person who gives you those feelings, is the one you belong with."  
"Thanks H," Niall replied, furrowing his eyebrows as he looked deep in thought.   
When they'd finished setting everything up, they went back inside to find Louis staring up at the ceiling, as Lottie was playing with his hair.   
Harry thanked Lottie and Niall for their help before turning his full attention to Louis. "Hi boo... I have a surprise for you my love."   
Louis turned his head to face Harry, making eye contact with him. Harry put a hand on his hollow cheek, and just looked into his blue eyes for a moment, seeing a spark of light in them, before it dimmed again. He kissed Louis' forehead, before wrapping his favorite soft green blanket around his shoulders, and picking him up bridal style.   
"We're gonna go outside Lou." He told his tiny husband, who at this point weighed a mere 34 kilos (75 pounds.)   
Louis looked around as Harry carried him outside, the world around him just not making any sense to him. Harry brought him over to the picnic blanket that he'd set up, sitting down and holding him propped up against his chest.   
"I'm really sorry boo. I wanted to make it up to you." Harry said softly, "I really didn't realize what Nick was trying to do, and I wouldn't have befriended him if I did." He sighed, looking up at the sky. "I hope this makes it up to you."   
Louis didn't say a word of course, but he did however, tilt his head up toward Harry and gave him the tiniest of smiles. And that was all Harry needed.


	24. Chapter 24

October 30th 2018  
Louis hadn't smiled since the day of his and Harry's picnic. 

Louis had a feeding tube now, unable to eat. Harry remembered the day it had been put in. Louis had screamed and cried in fear and pain, that hadn't been a good day.

Louis who was no longer able to sit up without Harry holding him up, spent all of his time in bed, or in Harry's arms. 

Louis had been having seizures. Each one worse than the last, each one also ending with an overnight hospital stay. He'd always be sent home the next day, and Harry was always so grateful for that. For being able to have Louis at home. That meant he was still okay. 

Louis still recognized Harry most of the time. And to Harry, that was success. 

It was a cold afternoon, and the husbands were cuddled up in the rocking chair, Harry quietly watching old videos of him and Louis together as Louis lay in his arms, incoherently staring at the wall.  
Harry knew Louis' time was running out and he hated that all he could do was cuddle him. He couldn't heal him, no matter how badly he wanted to.  
"Hmmm I think it's about time for your bath," Harry said gently after a while. He stood up with his precious husband cradled close to him, and carried him up to their bedroom. He lay him on the bed, pressing a kiss to each of his cheeks. "Gonna be right back, I've got to get your things."  
He filled a small bin with water and soap, got a wash cloth, some dry shampoo, along with a fresh nappy and set of clothes for him, bringing them back out.  
"Alright, lets get you nice and clean sweetheart." Harry said gently. He first started with Louis' hair, spraying it with the dry shampoo, and combing his fingers through it. Louis loved the feeling of Harry's hands in his hair, but Harry had no idea since Louis had no way to express it.  
After his hair, Harry gently removed Louis' sweats and nappy. He dipped the washcloth in the warm soapy water before rubbing it over Louis' body in careful circular motions.  
Louis just stared up at Harry helplessly. He recognized him, as he was the person who was constantly around, but he had no idea who he was.  
Once Louis was all cleaned up and dressed again, Harry hooked up a bag of tan liquid to Louis' feeding tube, before cuddling him again.  
"I love you boo" He murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to Louis' shoulder, frowning when he noticed a bit of a temperature.  
"Are you feeling poorly love?" He asked nervously, looking at him closer.  
Louis' eyes were unfocused and moving about which made Harry nervous. When suddenly bile was falling from Louis' thin lips and the left side of his face was starting to droop, Harry panicked.  
"Shit shit shit" Harry mumbled pulling out his phone and immediately dialing the emergency number. He frantically explained the situation and was told an ambulance was on the way. He knew how to handle seizures, but this, Harry didn't think this was just a seizure.  
"Stay with me baby, stay with me." Harry murmured, pressing a kiss to his now boiling forehead.  
Bile continued falling from his lips every few seconds, and Harry was freaking out. He was so scared for his sweet husband.  
The paramedics arrived, quickly lifting Louis onto a stretcher, as Harry sobbed. "Please be gentle with him. He's my husband!" He cried out, holding Louis' frail hand as he was taken out to the ambulance.  
Louis was in and out of consciousness the whole ride to the hospital as the paramedics tried to keep his fever down.  
"Please Louis, please. You've gotta be okay." Harry whispered as his lover was poked and prodded at.  
***********  
A stroke.  
Louis had suffered a stroke.  
Not uncommon with Alzheimer's patients, but still not a good thing.  
"So when is he gonna wake up? Is he okay?" Harry asked the doctor as he sat beside the hospital bed where Louis lay asleep, all hooked up to wires and tubes, a breathing mask over his sunken face.  
"It'll be several hours. And well, he's just lucky to be alive." The doctor said, "Strokes are very common with Alzheimer's but with him being in the later stages, it's not looking good for him. It's definitely done additional damage to his brain."  
Harry nodded solemnly, and grabbed Louis' hand, kissing it gently. "Oh my, sweet Lou." He whispered.  
It was hours later when Louis finally awoke, his eyes wide and confused as he scanned the room. His blue eyes eventually met Harry's green ones.  
"Hi," Harry said softly.  
Louis just stared at him, not recognizing him at all. Where was he? Who was this man? What was going on? Louis just closed his eyes again as it was all too much, he couldn't think right now. It was too much. Too much.  
"Baby...." Harry teared up, realizing that Louis was worse now. Much worse. "I'm so sorry." He whispered.  
The words Harry spoke were all a jumbled mess of sounds to Louis, and all he wanted was silence. He was so lost, so scared, so confused. And Harry's once calming voice was now so foreign to him, and only made everything worse.  
"So is there anything I need to know for when he comes home? What precautions-" Harry began, but was cut off by the doctor's voice.  
"I'm so sorry, but this time Louis won't be returning home."


	25. Chapter 25

November 24th 2018  
It was one month before his 27th birthday and Louis was not well. He was having seizures frequently, and got lots of fevers. All were signs of his body starting to shut down.  
Harry stayed with him always, even though sometimes it just felt like Louis wasn't there. He'd just lay silently, mostly staring up at the ceiling, occasionally looking around.  
Harry was currently holding his hand and rubbing it with his thumb as Louis just lay there absently.  
Harry was reminiscing over all the years he and Louis had spent together. Some memories bringing him smiles, others bringing him tears.  
"Remember in Kindergarten when you told the whole class we were gonna get married?" Harry whispered as if Louis were listening, even though he knew he couldn't understand. "You were right." He smiled.  
"Then remember in year three, we decided that kissing and dating was gross?" Harry chuckled, and shook his head fondly. "We were best friends but wouldn't allow ourselves to be lovers."  
"I remember back in year five we used to visit that resting home that was near the school." Harry teared up a bit, "I always complained and wanted to ride bikes or play video games, but every Wednesday without fail you'd drag me to the nursing home to visit Miss Edna. You loved her Lou. She was in the earlier stages of Alzheimer's and you always felt so bad for her, you thought it was such an awful disease and unfair that she had it. You were so kind to her Louis, so kind."  
"Then in year seven, you asked me to be your boyfriend at the school dance." Harry bit his lip as he remembered how it had happened, "You were so nervous and your little hands were all clammy and shaky, you were scared I'd say no. But of course I'd never say no to you my Louis, never." Harry kissed his cheek softly. Louis didn't even realize it.  
"When we were sixteen I remember you becoming forgetful. Of course you'd always been a bit forgetful, but not like that." Harry murmured as he remembered the very earliest stages of his Alzheimer's. "Though it wasn't too bad yet, and the boys and I were happy to help."  
"Then of course we got married at eighteen, not long after graduation." Harry smiled, "It was the most beautiful wedding, all decorated with blue and green. It had a nautical theme because I'm the anchor that grounds you and you're the compass that guides me, like two ships."  
"When we were 20, things started getting harder. But you still remained so sweet. You even asked Niall to take you to get me a present for my birthday, you asked him in October, because you didn't want to forget before February." Harry said as he remembered how sweet it had been.   
"When we were 21 we went out to dinner for Valentine's day," Harry choked back a sob. "It was really nice." He didn't mention how Louis hadn't been able to read the menu, and how embarrassed and sad he'd gotten over it. Because, even though Louis didn't understand, Harry didn't like saying bad memories aloud. Some memories hurt too much.  
"When we were 22 you especially liked to cuddle and stay home in bed." Harry said, remembering how Louis had experienced the most awful hallucinations and was convinced that everyone was after him and wanted to take his things, so he was always wanting to hide in bed.  
"When we were 23 you liked to dance. You'd dance in restaurants, in subways, in the grocery store..." Harry didn't mention that it was seductive dancing, stage 5 included hypersexuality. He also didn't mention how he had to stop him, and assist him to somewhere private and calm him down.  
"When we were 24 you had a lot of energy." Harry said softly, switching from holding Louis' hand to stroking his hair. He didn't say though that the energy had been channeled in anger. Louis had been very aggressive, he'd have temper tantrums, and sometimes even hit Harry. Of course, he didn't realize what he was doing, and Harry had never gotten mad in return. He'd always calm Louis down, and then Louis would start crying and feel so bad about it.  
"When we were 25 we got Goldie." Harry said remembering the pet goldfish, "You loved her so much Lou. Always eager to feed her, and you loved watching her swim around." This was when Louis had first really started to decline. Harry would find him trying to drink water from Goldie's fishbowl so they'd had to get rid of her. One day in particular when they'd been 25, Harry couldn't speak about, it made him too emotional. He'd gone to the bathroom and came back to find Louis sitting on the floor eating erasers that he thought were candies. That was when he knew things were bad, really bad.  
"And now, now we're 26." Harry smiled at his sweet husband, "I can't believe we're already this old, yesterday I swear we were in grade one and giggling over stupid jokes."  
A soft sound came from Louis, and Harry immediately frowned. "What is it boo? What's the matter?" He asked, he could feel something wasn't right.  
Louis of course didn't answer, but the beeping of his heart monitor was getting slower. Slower.  
"Baby..." Harry choked out. He'd known this was coming, but it didn't make it any easier. "Don't let go. Please, don't let go."  
Louis looked up at him with the emptiest eyes. He was in pain. He couldn't hold on anymore, he couldn't. He seemed almost apologetic, as if he knew something was wrong.  
Harry bit his wobbling lip, and wrapped his arms around Louis in a gentlest hug. "I take that back, you can let go if you need to. But I never will. Never."  
He pulled away as Louis' chest rose and fell with slow and shaky breaths.  
"I love you. I love you more than anything Louis. You'll always be in my heart." Harry whispered as Louis took in one last breath.  
"I'll never let go." Harry promised as Louis let out the breath. Save for the long, low beep of the monitor there wasn't a sound in the room as Harry silently sobbed.  
"Rest in peace sweet Louis." Harry pressed a kiss to his cheek.


	26. Chapter 26

December 24th 2018  
Louis would've been 27 today. Harry thought to himself as he sat in the rocking chair he'd spent so many hours in rocking and comforting Louis. His eyes were glazed and fixated on the Christmas tree that stood in the corner of the room. It was adorned with gold lights, and photos of him and Louis decorated the branches.   
It'd been a long month without his husband. He missed him so much everyday. He knew he'd have to get a job soon, as he was of course no longer receiving the disability pay anymore. But, he wanted to wait until after Christmas. It was too much to worry about as he was still grieving.   
He checked his phone, realizing the battery was low, and headed up to his bedroom to get his charger. When he walked in, he noticed the box of flash drives, sticking out from under the bed. He'd forgotten all about those!   
He grabbed his charger, before carefully grabbing the box. He'd seen all of the videos except for the one titled: "Watch After I Go <3 ps, sorry for leaving you." Harry teared up, seeing Louis' scribbly handwriting that he hadn't seen in ages.   
He went back to the rocking chair, plugged in his phone, and then turned on his laptop, inserting the flash drive.   
"Hi Harry," Louis spoke quieter than in the usual videos, he seemed more solemn. "If you're watching this, I guess it means that I'm gone. Wow, that's a scary thought." He shuddered.   
Harry bit his wobbling lip as he watched. "Well, first I want to say you're always in my heart. I've told you this so many times I know, but I just wanted to remind you."  
Harry put a hand over his heart and nodded, whispering, "And you're always in mine."   
"I'm sorry that I had to leave you babe, that was never what I wanted. And I wish I could've stayed.. but the universe just wasn't on our side this time. I'm also sorry that you probably had to see me in a pretty bad way. I hope my forgetfulness, confusion and disability never got too much in the way. I'm sure you probably had to care for me and I'm sorry." Louis said, looking down.   
Harry wished he could lift his chin, look him in the eyes, and tell him that it was okay. That he had been more than willing to care for him. But he couldn't.   
"But uhmmm please don't waste the rest of your life. Don't become a recluse who never sees the light of day or never dates around, you deserve to find someone."   
Harry shook his head. He wouldn't become a recluse, but he definitely didn't want to date someone new.   
"Or if you don't wanna date, that's fine. Get a pet, adopt a kid, do something so you're not lonely." Louis said softly, "Enjoy your life okay? You only live once, make the most of it."   
Harry smiled a little, wiping his eyes.   
"I know you're crying Haz." Louis said to the camera, "Now stop it! Get out there and take on the world! Start fresh. Love you always. Goodbye Harry."   
"Goodbye Lou." Harry whispered, closing his laptop. Louis was right, he couldn't mope about for the rest of his life. He needed to do something. For Louis.   
***************  
Later that evening, Harry received a text from Lottie, announcing that the baby had been born and they'd love a visitor.   
When he arrived at the hospital, he walked up to the labor and delivery floor, entering Lottie's room. She was cuddled up with her new baby boy in her arms, her new boyfriend Sam at her side. He loved and supported her so much, and Harry couldn't be happier for the pair. On her other side, stood Niall and Shawn, both doting over the baby. Niall and Shawn were doing much better now, engaged in fact.   
"Hey guys. Congratulations," Harry smiled as he walked in, and came closer to Lottie looking at the baby. "Well hello there little one." He cooed.   
Lottie and Niall shared a look, and Niall spoke up. "Thanks for coming Harry, listen we have a question for you."   
"Oh, sure what is it?" Harry asked, as Lottie passed him the tiny baby to hold.   
"We were wondering, if you'd like to be his nanny during the day time? We know you needed a job, and we all work full time." Lottie explained.   
Harry was overjoyed at the idea. He missed having someone to take care of honestly. "I'd love that, so much." He nodded, and kissed the baby's soft little head. "What's his name by the way?"   
"William." Lottie said softly, "William Tomlinson."   
Harry teared up, he'd been named after Louis. "William, I promise to take the best care of you. I'll take care of you, just like I took care of your mummy's brother." He promised the sweet baby. "And he's looking after you too. I promise."

FIN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading, and sticking through to the end of this book. It means so much to me you have no idea! I love you all so so so so so much!!!!!   
All the love in the world and more xxx


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